12 People Reveal the Absolute Worst Sex Advice They've Ever Followed

Generally horrible advice:

To start, be sure that you know this real-life advice isn't sound enough to follow.

1. "My ex-boyfriend told me while I was still a virgin that it's not possible to have sex without music because you must keep a steady rhythm to get a girl to orgasm." Impossible? No, but turning up some sexy tunes isn't all-bad advice.

2. "The pullout method is a completely effective method of birth control." You know this is the worst advice ever, right? Just making sure.

3. "My wife's circle of friends were telling each other that if the woman has an orgasm they won't get pregnant. And they were all trying to get pregnant... I suspect this was the result of a single lazy husband telling one that..." Yep, not true at all.

Bad moves on guys:

Ladies, there's an overwhelming amount of tips out there for spicing up your sex life and wowing him with your erotic repertoire. But take it from some people who've actually tried this wild advice and stay clear of these less-than-successful acts.

4. "Stick your finger in his butt when you're going down on him." This is only sound advice if you give your man a warning or if you've previously discussed the gesture. "I'd probably say yes but a little heads up before hand would be nice," he commented.

5. "Pop Rock blowjob. THE SUGAR IN MY PEE HOLE OH GOD!" Coming from a scorned dude, it may be best to stay clear of this "playful" act. Other users agree, with one admitting she tried it on her boyfriend and "left him with abrasions." That doesn't sound like anyone's idea of a good time.

6. "This I read... and no one told me how stupid it was, so I 'hear' that behind the knee is a sexy zone. Nope I just look stupid kissing all up on my dude's knees." Erogenous zones aren't total hogwash, but no, he won't reach his peak just by tonguing his knees.

No-nos on the ladies:

Gentlemen, do your woman a favor and digest this information as what not to do in the bedroom. You've been warned.

7. "I want to find whoever started the rumor that girls like you to spell the alphabet with your tongue on their clit. That person deserves to be hit in the face with a mallet." Yikes. And other users agree on this one, with one writing, "I'm with you, that alphabet business makes no sense. Most women require quite a consistent motion on the clitoris to orgasm."

And they're right! Most women require consistent rhythms to climax, but using the alphabet method to find the types of touch she likes best isn't all-bad advice. If getting through all 26 letter seems like a waste of time, though, stick with the circular motions of O, up and down move of I or the zig-zag of W. After trying them, ask which she liked best!

8. "Saliva is the best lubricant." Lube is thought to be a tool only for the sexually-challenged, but it takes any sex act to new heights. Just swallow your pride and buy the lube.

9. "If you stick your finger in your ear and get some earwax on it, then stick it in a girl... If it burns her or she squirms around from it, she has an STD." No words. Just please don't try this at home, or anywhere else.

Painfully bad advice:

Finally, these little nuggets of misinformation might have you crying out in pain. Read them and never look back.

10. "I just assumed balls can go from one side to the other, (I know now it's called testicular torsion and isn't normal thank you reddit) these were the first set I was really playing with. Found out the hard way when he asked me what I was doing, clearly I know what I'm doing now since we're married, poor guy." Yep, that's a great way to land your guy in the ER with a penis injury.

11. "A [male] friend told my wife that the best blowjobs had good suction. She almost popped my bell end right off the shaft before I stopped her." Blowjobs are a tricky business, but sucking too hard won't get his gears grinding — and neither will these common BJ mistakes.

12. "Just imitate porn." If you're into that, there's no judgment. But if you're trying to please your partner, going in like a jackrabbit isn't your smartest strategy. Try grinding it out like this instead.