Braun Strowman Is a WrestleMania Orphan

No one in WWE has enjoyed a more lucrative calendar year than Braun Strowman. However, as WWE marches to WrestleMania, it’s ironically Strowman who’s been left out of the parade.

Strowman’s lack of WrestleMania dancing partner is purely circumstantial, though. It’s clear that The Monster Among Men is one of Vince McMahon’s top priorities, but he and WWE decision makers will have to get creative to get Strowman the WrestleMania moment he deserves.

That said, in terms of atomic weight, all of Stowman’s peers look to already have dates for the April 8th mega show. With Roman Reigns, Brock Lesnar and John Cena all occupied, that only leaves Hulk Hogan as last available blockbuster name for Strowman to wrestle in New Orleans.

While Hogan would die for that opportunity, we can say with confidence that is a mathematical impossibility.

But what is actually possible for Strowman? Well, we’ve done some heavy prognosticating and have handpicked the best options on WWE’s menu.

Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns – Universal Championship

Let’s start with one of the more outlandish possibilities. 

With Strowman, WWE has the ultimate insurance policy. If they need him to main event WrestleMania 34, not only is he good enough to do so, but fans would rejoice at his inclusion. 

But a one-on-one match with Roman Reigns is very unlikely. For that to happen, Brock Lesnar would have to leave WWE. While Vince McMahon and Co. would like you to think that Brock Lesnar is miserable enough to jet from the company just weeks before ‘Mania, it’s not happening. 

So let’s kill this thought before it spreads.

Probability: 0/5

Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar – Universal Championship

For this to manifest, the bubbling steroid accusations against Roman Reigns would have to make significant, if not damning strides. 

A filmmaker named Jon Bravo and his key witness Richard Rodriguez have been on Reigns’ tail for all of 2018. They assert they have proof that Reigns was a client of Rodriguez, a jailed international steroid dealer. 

Reigns haters go to sleep every night hoping Bravo and Rodriguez will publish a candid photo of Reigns with a needle in his rear, but that is nothing more than a rather twisted pipe dream. 

If Bravo and Rodriguez can produce evidence, it likely won’t be in time to beat WrestleMania’s April 8th buzzer. 

Probability: 0/5

 

Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns – Universal Championship

Ah, now we’ve reached a possible scenario. 

During Monday’s episode of RAW, there was a palpable expectation that Strowman would storm into the heavily advertised segment between Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns. Afterall, it was Strowman who not only set a record with five pinfalls at Elimination Chamber but destroyed Reigns afterward, arguably making him the king of WWE’s mountain. 

But that Lesnar/Reigns segment never happened.

While there certainly is room for Strowman to slip into WrestleMania’s main event, don’t count on it. WrestleMania 34 is about Roman Reigns becoming king of WWE. And the most direct way for WWE to accomplish this is for him to pin Brock Lesnar. 

Having already beaten the likes of John Cena, The Undertaker, and Triple H, Reigns needs Lesnar’s scalp to close the book on a golden generation and step into a new era of WWE. 

Probability: 1.5/5

 

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

Elias is already the most under-appreciated talent in all of WWE. As a matter of fact, he sells more t-shirts than John Cena, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Sasha Banks, Ronda Rousey, or anyone else in WWE you care to name.

But is he ready for a WrestleMania match with Braun Strowman?

Well, both men have yet to have a singles match at the Showcase of Immortals, making them peers. But WWE strapped Strowman with a hysterical amount of firepower for all of 2017, while it’s Elias who has just begun to get hot.

A ‘Mania match between these two could be good, but WWE may have more fruitful options.

Probability 2.5/5 

 

Braun Strowman Wins the Andre the Giant Battle Royal

It’s not that we don’t like Andre the Giant – he’s great. It’s that his namesakes Battle Royal has yet to change any WWE Superstar’s career.

This exhibition is always used as a break in the WrestleMania action and WWE has yet to give us a true reason to care.

However, with HBO set to release an Andre the Giant documentary in April, rumors have WWE bumping up the sign of the battle royal. 

We’re not sure how they’ll do that, but the last rumor we heard was that Bill Goldberg was set to enter and win to cap off his Hall of Fame weekend.

That seems like a stretch, but Strowman winning feels all too likely, even if it is a little underwhelming.

Probability: 3.5/5

Braun Strowman vs. Elias vs. Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins vs. The Miz – Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match

WWE’s mid-card is a beautiful mess. 

With an unprecedented amount of talent and a few unfortunate injuries, WWE had it’s WrestleMania mid-card WrestleMania plans blow up months ago. 

However, there’s an easy fix. 

The Intercontinental Championship has much of its storied history tied to ladder matches and WrestleMania is usually good for one per show, so why not combine this trend? 

Even though WrestleMania will be 10 hours long there’s going to be Superstars who get slighted. And even though dumping some of WWE’s brightest stars into one ladder match may seem like a cheap trick, it’s likely WWE’s best option to let their boys shine, even if the only for a little bit. 

We’re already heading in this direction, too. On the latest episode of RAW, both Rollins and Balor teased Intercontinental heat with The Miz and even mentioned WrestleMania. Why not let Elias and Braun join the party?

I mean can you imagine the reaction Braun gets when he brought out a 50 ft ladder?

Probability: Please Just Make This Happen, WWE