The results are in, and Lisa Vanderpump had nothing to do with PuppyGate…or did she?
In Tuesday’s episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Vanderpump underwent a lie detector test in an attempt to clear her name of the accusations from her fellow co-stars that she leaked information about Dorit Kemsley failing to return a puppy her family adopted to Vanderpump Dogs instead of a kill shelter after deciding the adoption wasn’t a good fit.
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“After all the bulls—t and the attacks from the women, how do you prove your innocence? What do I have to do, take a lie detector test? Alright then!” Vanderpump told the camera before being hooked up to the lie detector equipment by a proctor.
“It’s almost 100 percent [accurate],” the examiner explained to the RHOBH star and her Vanderpump Dogs Executive Director John Sessa. “This is going to be scored as if it were a serious legal or criminal test, using federal guidelines. I’m neutral, but I’ve been testing for over 40 years. If she’s lying, I’m going to catch it in a second. If she’s telling the truth, she’s going to pass.”
“I know I’m 1,000 percent not guilty or else why would I volunteer for it?” Vanderpump said, defending herself. “I’m not as stupid as I look!”
After a series of control questions and a jab at Kemsley — “Do you think Dorit’s face has changed in the last year as much as her accent?” — Sessa began to ask the questions that could clear Vanderpump’s name.
“Have you ever given a story to RadarOnline about Dorit Kemsley abandoning her dog to a shelter?”; “Do you know who gave a story to RadarOnline about Dorit abandoning her dog?”; “Do you think you will ever forget the hurtful accusations made by your close friends?”; “Do you believe these women who have accused you of giving a story to RadarOnline are your true friends?”
Having answered, “No,” to all of these questions, the Bravo star was overjoyed to hear that she had passed the exam with flying colors.
“I’ve been testing over 30 years, I’ve tested over 10,000 people,” the examiner told her. “The scoring program agrees with me. It says there is zero chance you are lying on any of the questions of importance.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with these results,” Vanderpump said after the test was through. “Maybe I’m going to keep it in my back pocket and shove it up their ass if ever I come across them, just to prove you bunch of a—holes are barking up the wrong tree.”
It doesn’t seem like the stunt did anything to convince her RHOBH co-stars, however, who learned what Vanderpump was doing before she had the opportunity to confront them with the results.
“Why would she do that?” Kyle Richards’ husband Mauricio asked, to which she responded, “She’s obviously taking a lie detector test to say she’s innocent — she acts like she’s being accused of murder for God’s sakes.”
“Lie detector tests aren’t even accurate,” Teddi Mellencamp added. “And you can train yourself to pass them! Ted Bundy passed!”
“Innocent people fail them all the time. Guilty people pass them. They’re not admissible in court,” Richards added. “She acts like she’s being accused of murder for God’s sake. … She’s trying to focus on something she can control like that instead of the actual problem which is the initial thing she did with you, the Vanderpump Dogs thing. Cause that’s the betrayal!”
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.
Photo credit: Bravo
