Kelly Clarkson Says She’s ‘Lost, Alone, A Lot’ After Unexplained Absence From Talk Show

Kelly Clarkson got candid as she made her return to her eponymous NBC talk show Thursday to celebrate its milestone episode.

The Grammy-winning singer, 42, opened the 1,000th episode of The Kelly Clarkson Show on Thursday, March 20, with a heartfelt speech in which she touched on the personal struggles she’s faced in recent years.

“Welcome to The Kelly Clarkson Show and our 1,000th episode,” the singer-songwriter who had been intermittently absent from the show in recent days due to a “personal matter,” said. “I cannot believe today marks the 1,000th. It’s crazy.”

The Kelly Clarkson Show debuted on NBC in September 2019, Clarkson noting that in the more than five years since, “we have met some hugely talented people, tons of big stars and inspiring everyday heroes. We created a community and supported each other through a lot of ups and downs.”

Seemingly referencing her own life, the “Since U Been Gone” singer said there have been “a lot of ups and downs personally as well,” before she recalled the obstacles her talk show has faced, including a relocation from Los Angeles to New York, filming during the COVID-19 pandemic, and hosting the show “in an eye patch and with my leg in a cast.”

“For 1,000 episodes, we have laughed together, we have cried together with beautiful stories, sang together with some people, danced together, celebrated and competed together,” she said. “I’ve lost, alone, a lot.”

The American Idol alum did not elaborate on the statement, though it seemingly alluded to her divorce from Brandon Blackstock. The former couple were married for nearly seven year, during which tie they welcomed two children together, before Clarkson filed for divorce in June 2020. The pair later became embattled in legal disputes, which they settled in May 2024.

Clarkson also embarked on a 60-pound weight loss journey, and previously told PEOPLE in January 2024 that she went “through a really rough few years, and even in the first season it was rough behind closed doors.”

“It’s okay,” she told her audience Thursday after briefly touching on her personal struggles. “And along the way, we found comfort in one another. And looking back, we are all incredibly proud of what we’ve built and the community we’ve created.”

Clarkson ended the speech with a message of gratitude, telling viewers, “I am grateful to everyone who has been a part of this journey. It has been such a cool time. Thank you so much.”