Hilaria Baldwin Addresses Criticism Over Being Stepmom to Alec’s Daughter Ireland

Hilaria Baldwin responded to critics who complain that she does not mention her stepdaughter, model Ireland Baldwin, anywhere near as often as her own children with husband Alec Baldwin, in an emotional Instagram post about their relationship.

On Thursday, Baldwin, 35, posted a picture with Ireland, 23, who towers over her. In a long caption with the throwback picture, Baldwin explained what being a stepmother means to her.

“I rarely address being a stepmom, but it is part of our family,” the yoga instructor wrote. “I always want to deal with it with such care…so often you hear horror stories about evil stepparents and I wanted to make sure I did right by the family I was stepping into when I married Alec. I love my stepdaughter as much as I love my biological children and I become a mommy lioness when I see comments that insinuate otherwise.”

Baldwin called having a stepchild a “delicate matter,” especially when the stepchild is all grown up.

However, Baldwin and Ireland have figured out how to make it work because they respect each other. Baldwin said she has “tremendous respect” for Ireland’s mother, actress Kim Basinger, and would never try to replace her.

“She has a good mother, who I have tremendous respect for…and I put myself in Kim’s shoes: if my children ever had a stepmother, I’d want her to let me be number one,” Baldwin wrote. “When I met Ireland, I said to Alec: if she is not ok with our relationship, I cannot go further. Family is first and she needed to be ok with me. We have never had a fight or a bad moment. Nor have I with her mother.”

According to Baldwin, the two love each other and are always there for one another.

“I don’t ever expect her to be anyone other than herself,” Baldwin wrote. “As someone who loves her, my job was not to step in and take over…but rather respect what had been for the first 15 years of her life and then become a part of that, in a way that works for everyone.”

She continued, ” So yes, sometimes my language about my biological children does not include her. Because I did not birth her and I never want to disrespect the fact that she has a wonderful mother. But this will never take away from how much I love her, need her in my life, and think that she is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Please don’t look for trouble where there is none.”

In the end, Baldwin wrote, “Love you [Ireland]” and joked, “After writing this and using the word ‘step’ so many times, I think I know why it is called a ‘stepparent’ now.”

“I prayed for two lesbian moms from the womb but having two moms this way will do,” Ireland joked in the comments section, notes PEOPLE.

Baldwin and Alec, 61, share four children – Carmen Gabriela, 5, Rome Alejandro David, 10 months, Leonardo Angel Charles, 2, and Rafael Thomas, 3. Earlier this month, Baldwin confirmed she suffered a miscarriage and thanked fans for their show of support.

Photo credit: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Spike