Meghan McCain is still struggling 84 days after her father, Senator John McCain‘s, death.
The 34-year-old The View co-host shared a photo of the war hero and longtime politician cooking on her Instagram Sunday, reminiscing about her time spent with her father and how life has changed without him.
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Sen. McCain passed away in August at the age of 81 from an aggressive form of brain cancer. His death came just days after his family announced that he would no longer be receiving treatment.
“84 days without you,” McCain wrote in the caption of the photo. “You used to get up early in the morning and go get us all Starbucks in town in the Cottonwood Safeway and then come home and make eggs and bacon. You always had a giant venti cappuccino. We would eat on the porch and talk about life and politics while you read the newspaper and watched out for the hawks to fly by.”
“I want to tell you about everything and get your opinion on everything – just like we used to do. I don’t know how you go from talking to someone seven times a day to never. It is still so indescribably surreal to go through the motions of life without sharing all of it with you – like some awful parallel universe I fell into,” she continued.
“The pain of missing you and the grief that comes with it continues to be sharp and primal,” she wrote. “Some waves are more intense than others but they come every day relentlessly. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me.”
She went on to state that she continued to “fight on” because that is what her father “told me I had to do and demanded of me.” She added that she is grateful that he “made me so tough and strong.”
“Thank you for always, always being on my team and for being my best friend. I love you forever,” she wrote.
Addressing “anyone else in my place or those who are not,” McCain continued, “I wish we wouldn’t put time limits or rules on grief, we all do it differently in different ways.”
“I shared my father on social media while he was here (and he loved it) and I choose to continue sharing him now that he is not. There’s always the unfollow button if recognizing the impact of death and loss makes anyone uncomfortable,” she concluded.
Since her father’s death, McCain has frequently reflected on him on social media, recently honoring him on Veterans Day. Just last week, she traveled to London, where she accepted a humanitarian award on his behalf.
