Vanessa Bryant Opens up About Kobe and Gianna’s Deaths: ‘I Can’t Process Both at the Same Time’

Over two weeks after Kobe Bryant and Gianna Bryant‘s untimely deaths, Vanessa Bryant is opening up about just how difficult it’s been to cope without her husband and daughter. In a new Instagram post, Vanessa not only highlighted Gianna’s prowess on the basketball court, but she also wrote an incredibly touching message in honor of her two loved ones.

“I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone,” Vanessa’s message began. “I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong.”

“Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad,” she continued, captioning a video of Gianna’s highlights during her time at the Mamba Sports Academy. “She had so much life to live. Then I realize I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters. Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri.”

“I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process. I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this,” Vanessa’s emotional message concluded. “God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.”

On Jan. 26, Kobe and Gianna’s lives were tragically cut short along with seven other victims as a result of a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California. The group was reportedly on their way to a basketball game at the Mamba Sports Academy at the time of the accident, per TMZ.

Just a few days after the tragic event, Vanessa broke her silence regarding Kobe and Gianna’s deaths and opened up about how she was feeling for the very first time publicly.

“We are completely devastated by the sudden loss of my adoring husband, Kobe — the amazing father of our children; and my beautiful, sweet Gianna — a loving, thoughtful, and wonderful daughter, and amazing sister to Natalia, Bianka, and Capri,” she wrote on Instagram, captioning a photo of the family of four in happier times. “We are also devastated for the families who lost their loved ones on Sunday, and we share in their grief intimately. There aren’t enough words to describe our pain right now. I take comfort in knowing that Kobe and Gigi both knew that they were so deeply loved.”