If you’re a man, you’ve definitely wondered if your lady has ever faked it in bed. And if you’ve asked her, she definitely said no, so that doesn’t help you.
And if you’re a lady, you’ve definitely wondered if your guy could tell you didn’t really orgasm. If you say you’ve never faked it, you aren’t fooling anyone.
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In fact, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women are pretty good at faking orgasms! The study’s survey results showed that 85 percent of men said their latest sexual partner had an orgasm, compared with 64 percent of women saying they had one.
But why do women fake orgasm in the first place? There are a couple of valid reasons. Women don’t normally reach climax every single time they engage in a sexual act. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel pleasurable and fun, it just doesn’t always ‘come’ to a close.
This is difficult to explain to men, so ladies will either fake it because they don’t want to deal with the ‘challenge’ men see this non-orgasm conundrum as, or because they don’t want their partner to feel inadequate.
But in guys’ defense, faked orgasms only lead to continued bad behavior on the sexual front. It keeps a woman from being totally honest with her partner and—if there happens to be a technique flaw on the guy’s behalf—he doesn’t learn to correct it!
Still, women will continue to perfect their acting skills with the ‘O’ face, moans, muscle contractions and body movements. So if you really want to know how to spot a fake (or if you’re a woman looking to make your act bulletproof), these are the sneaky signs that her performance may not be a real happy ending.
There’s no recovery phase:
Because a true orgasm leaves you feeling kind of stiff, there should be a period of time where she can’t/doesn’t want to talk or move. She’ll also need a minute or two to help her body temperature come back to normal and for her breathing to slow and regulate.
If her breath immediately comes back down to normal or she wants to tell you all about her day at work while you’re washing up, those are fairly obviously signs it was an acted orgasm.
Also, if her eyes aren’t dilated, her skin isn’t flushed and it feels dry, those are other signs her body can give away that an orgasm didn’t happen.
She’s flailing around:
A shaking, floppy body may seem like you’ve just given her the climax of her life, but in reality, it’s a sure sign of a fake.
When a woman orgasms, her body gets tense and stiff, similar to a guy’s when he’s close to climax. If she gets off immediately after switching positions or is moving around to show how much she likes it, she really doesn’t.
With a genuine orgasm, a woman will move much less when she’s close. Her muscles will contract or pulse, her toes will curl and her facial expression might stick for a minute; that’s the kind of orgasm you’re after.
Muscle contractions are perfectly timed:
When a woman orgasms, you know that her pelvic muscles will contract. The tricky part is that a woman also knows this. Still, there’s a pretty easy way to tell the difference between real and acted contractions.
In a fake orgasm, a woman will likely perform kegel exercises to make the vagina get tighter, but she’ll perform them slowly or in a steady rhythm. With a genuine climax, though, the contractions will feel like quick pulses and will happen faster than a woman can physically contract her muscles. Some women also experience an extended clench when they orgasm, which is also something a woman can’t fake for too long without giving in to the burn of kegels.
It feels/looks different than normal:
Even if one orgasm seems stronger than another, the basic reactions from your body will be the same. If you can feel pulsing contractions one time when she ‘climaxes’ but not the next or if her eyes roll back during one sex session and she’s talking full sentences during the next, only one of them was genuine.
Every woman’s climax can be a bit different, but if you’re with a long-term partner, look for constants in her orgasm. She should get stiffer, but her eyes will likely make a similar gaze, noises will sound the same, breathing patterns won’t change and her vaginal contractions will feel the same to you.
If her reactions are all over the place, she isn’t really reaching orgasm every time (which is totally okay and normal).
You climax at exactly the same time:
It would make sense for the feel-good contractions of a woman’s orgasm to help put her man over the edge. But when you tell her you’re about to finish and suddenly she’s feeling ready, too, something’s probably fishy.
The only exception to this is when you plan to orgasm at the same time and put in the effort to make it work, allowing her pleasure to lead. If you’re using an edging technique to hold off your orgasms, you could certainly have a simultaneous happy ending.
Other than that, your ‘O’ face didn’t spontaneously trigger hers.
