Porsha Williams shocked Real Housewives of Atlanta fans during Sunday's episode of the Bravo show when she abandoned her castmates on their girls trip to Barcelona less than 48 hours in after she nearly got in a physical fight with one of the other ladies.
"I've tried over and over again with these girls, but all I keep getting is torn down," the 36-year-old confessed to viewers. "I just don't think I should be putting myself in that position anymore. I don't feel that this is a group of people I really want to be around right now. So I'm just going to leave."
Her decision came hours after Williams got into it with Housewives guest Marlo Hampton at dinner, with Hampton grabbing a fan Williams was using out of her hand before the fight nearly got out of hand.
Williams, who has been on two physical fights on the show before, having to attend anger management as a result, was worried she would return to that place emotionally again.
"Once I got here, I started to see people were doing s—. A real a— person like me starts to feel like I'm trapped, and that's when I act out," Williams told castmate NeNe Leakes when explaining why she planned to leave. "I don't want to go back to that."
"I've done anger management, I've done personal therapy, and I want to take myself out of the situation," she added. "It's just too much for me. … [They're] trying to bring me to a certain level that I don't want to be at."
Leakes, who herself has struggled with anger, said she understood where her friend was coming from. "I definitely have been in your place so many damn times," she told Williams. "At one point … everything would just take me to the next level. I hate that you fell this way because this is a sisterhood. We have highs and lows, and you need to know how to push through those low moments."
Leakes and Williams haven't been on the best of terms lately, but Leakes took this hard time as an opportunity to make up with her friend. "Something is wrong with Porsha, I can see it all in her eyes," she said. "This is my time to really be serious with Porsha and become her big sister once again. We have a family here. We're just dysfunctional, honey."
But Williams still is far from being the most popular Housewife with her fellow castmates.
The majority are still upset with Williams for spreading false rumors last season that Kandi Burruss and her husband had planned on drugging her and friend Shamea Morton so that they could take advantage of them sexually.
Williams claims she only repeated the rumors after former Housewife and friend Phaedra Parks told Williams the information had come first-hand from Burruss. Parks was later fired from the show after admitting she had heard that from an unnamed source.
While Williams has apologized for her part in the drama, many of the Housewives feel like she hasn't paid her penance, and bring the issue up regularly in arguments.
"Every time someone gets into an argument with Porsha, they bring me up," Burrus said. "It really bothers Porsha because she knows that she was wrong. But because she's not owning it, they're going to keep throwing it at her."
In Barcelona, Cynthia Bailey and Hampton brought up Burruss when fighting with Williams, with Hampton slamming her for her reaction to previous insults about the size of her door mat.
"What I just did is no worse than what you did to Kandi," Hampton said. "You weren't crying about the lie you told Kandi! … You go about crying about the mat your mama bought. Did she cry about hurting [Kandi]?"
This left Williams frustrated. "I feel beat down," Williams said. "I've reached out to these girls several times to try to smooth things out with Kandi. I keep getting these invitations that I keep accepting but every time I'm present, all I'm getting is torn down. … I am feeling broken."
"I just feel like I have given so much and I don't see anything coming back," she told Leakes. "Two years ago, I knew I was wrapped up in working and said, 'You need to spend time with your family — sit and cherish the ones who love you and support you.' And it has fed my spirit just as if I got closer with God. But when I come around the group, I try to be that same vulnerable Porsha, it's like I get slapped."
Leakes thinks Williams can still make up with the group, however.
"I was waiting for you to just say something, 'I f—ed up,' " Leakes said. "And I feel like everyone would say, 'We love Porsha anyway so let's just move the f– on.' I think everybody feels like she's never going to say she f—ed up. And that makes every time they get into a little battle with you, they want to shoot you one more time."
Williams was skeptical. "Trust me, if I knew that that's the statement that would stop their so-called silver bullet, I would have said it," she said. "But I thought that me going to people individually would be more powerful."
"I definitely need a break," she said.0comments
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo.
Photo credit: Bravo