Julianne Hough Alludes to Feeling ‘Lost’ After ‘High-Profile’ Relationship With Ex Believed to Be Ryan Seacrest

Julianne Hough is opening up about a relationship that left her feeling “lost” shortly after filing for divorce from husband Brooks Laich earlier this month. The Dancing With the Stars alum shared insight into how her relationship with an ex believed to be Ryan Seacrest, who shaped what she wanted in life during an Instagram Live with Valeria Lipovetsky on Tuesday. Seacrest and Hough broke up in 2013 after two years together, citing their busy schedules as the reason things didn’t work out at the time.

“It was 2013 and I had just gotten out of a relationship that was very high profile,” she shared Tuesday. “I was on private planes and yachts and living in a very, very well-off house and my life was pretty different from where I grew up.” The dancer and actress continued that she didn’t feel like she had earned the kind of life she was living: “I had just gotten out of that relationship because I wanted to create that for myself because I kind of felt like I didn’t deserve it.”

Following the breakup, Hough said she struggled not having friends who were her age, as her ex was 15 years older than her. When she did find women her age to hang out with, the group went to the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival, where she “did some certain things that I am not proud of, but I was also like, ‘Get it, girl!’”

“During that year, it was kind of my wild year of abandon and freedom and I realized that the pendulum swing went from one side to the extreme,” she continued of her personal growth. “I was like, ‘OK, there’s got to be something in the middle where I can find fulfillment without having to be so dynamic and extreme.’”

Hough would go on to marry former NHL player Brooks Laich in 2017. In May, the couple announced they had decided to separate after months spent quarantining in different states — Hough in Los Angeles and Laich in their Idaho cabin. “We have lovingly and carefully taken the time we have needed to arrive at our decision to separate,” Hough and Laich shared in their joint statement to PEOPLE at the time. “We share an abundance of love and respect for one another and will continue to lead with our hearts from that place. We kindly request your compassion and respect for our privacy moving forward.”