‘The Bachelorette’: It’s Jordan vs. David in the Infamous 2-On-1

In the Bachelorette battle between the chicken and the male model, no one emerges a winner.

Both Jordan “hot pants” Kimball and David “bed rail” Ravitz were sent home by Becca Kufrin during Monday’s Las Vegas episode of the ABC reality show after they spent their 2-on-1 date going at each other, as opposed to paying any attention to the beautiful woman opposite them.

This, of course, led to quite a few brilliant Jordan-isms, including, “Love is the greatest power on earth. Being me is my greatest power, do you get that? Being you isn’t your greatest power, which is why you’ve got to talk about me!”

David also threw his nemesis under the bus for some of the things he’s been saying when Becca isn’t around — typically not a good move, historically — including the implication that he’s “settling” for Becca between lightning-fast Tinder swipes. Jordan, for his part, denied everything, and David was left in the desert by Becca, who called the whole situation “petty” and “strange” in the understatement of the season.

“I exposed him for who he is, as a golden underpants-ed clown,” David said, incorrectly, before his elimination.

But Jordan was also not long for this season, being sent home later that night after continuing to talk about David/his modeling portfolio through their “romantic” evening.

“I do feel unique. I’m smart; I do have a look; I can speak; I can walk; I’m fit,” he said in the limo leaving The Bachelorette behind. We’ll miss him?

(Also eliminated during the night’s rose ceremony was John Graham, the mostly off-screen Silicon Valley guy who helped create Venmo.)

Colton Underwood, whose sketchy past with Becca’s friend Tia Booth from her time on The Bachelor, dropped a big “I’m falling for you” bomb on Becca after the two spent their one-on-one date making out near some camels (getting over “the humps of their past relationships” or something), then in a hot tub, then in a limo… He takes love “very seriously,” he wants Becca to know, but also he’s falling in love with her already. Hmm.

It’s no secret that Colton is currently Mexico filming Bachelor in Paradise with Tia right now, as even the spoiler-free Bachelor Nation members learned that bit of info during Bekah Martinez’s massive fight with Raven Gates over his intentions appearing on a reality dating show. (Could he be here for the *gasp* wrong reasons?)

Regardless of his reasons, all that kissing won the handsome ex-athlete a date rose.

The rest of the guys embarrassed themselves serenading the object of their affection on a Las Vegas stage after lyric-writing lessons at Wayne Newton’s mansion, where they performed their own lyrics to “Danke Schoen” song.

Example? “Becca, dear, honey dear, thank you for lending me your ear,” from the soon-to-be-eliminated John. No coincidence there.

Despite his dorky lyrics, Blake Horstmann was awarded the group date rose, something Chris Randone took super seriously, despite his inability to say, try talking to her during the cocktail party?

“I am shook,” he said, actually appearing shook, before throwing a hissy fit about Becca “owing” him time. Chris got a rose in the end, though, so whatever.

Help us Wills Reid, you’re our only hope.

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

Photo Credit: YouTube / The Bachelorette