A woman from England recently opened up about her battle against mental illness and shed light on a side not many people get to see, Inside Edition reports.
Sophie, 20, has been living with borderline personality disorder for a few years. She wanted to share more about her battle and had her boyfriend Alex film one of her most recent mental breakdowns.
She shared the video on Facebook along with an explanation. “Nobody sees this,” Sophie told Inside Edition. “Even if I write about mental health and stuff, nobody sees it. Seeing it is so different, because it’s not pretty. It’s really not adorable. It’s terrifying, sad and really difficult for the people that have seen it and witnessed it properly."
In the video, Sophia is seen sobbing uncontrollably and mumbling words to herself. She explained that she sometimes gets visions during her psychotic breaks and would even imagine stabbing herself and her boyfriend.
"It’s like seeing both reality and not-reality at the same time,” Sophie explained. “It sort of feels like my eyes aren’t working properly. It’s like if you have a really vivid imagination, but it is in front of you at the same time."
She believes that her condition started after she experienced a few traumatic event two years ago. “One of my friends committed suicide and then about two weeks later, I was raped,” she said. “About a month later, one of my friends died in an accident."
Time has helped with some of the issues and she is learning how to trust her boyfriend more and more each day.
Before she shared her attack on Facebook this week, she hadn’t had an episode since October. After posting the video, she was fired from her job as an entertainer at children’s parties. She was told parents called her employers and did not feel comfortable with her being around children.
"Knowing how my boss feels about posting things about mental health … you know, I don’t want to work for somebody like that," she said. "The reactions have been so overwhelming positive, and it’s been great because people are saying how I’ve made them feel like they aren’t alone, and they can tell people how they’re feeling. I want people to be open about it, because hiding makes it worse.
"If I could just make one person feel better, then it’s worth it in my opinion," Sophie said.