Mark Harmon’s Sister Haunted by Drugs, Family Feud Before Her Death

Kristin Harmon, the sister of NCIS star Mark Harmon, led a troubled life in the years before her death last month at age 72. She had a tumultuous marriage to ’50s teen idol Ricky Nelson and found herself fighting her younger brother over custody of her youngest son.

Harmon married Nelson in 1963 when she was 18 years old. After their marriage, she starred on The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, the legendary TV show starring Nelson’s parents and family. Six months after their marriage, they welcomed daughter Tracy, a former actress. In 1967, they welcomed twins Gunnar and Matthew, who later formed the rock group Nelson. In 1974, their son Sam was born.

The public face of the marriage was perfection, but it was anything but behind the scenes.

“We were hippie rock ‘n’ rollers,” Harmon told PEOPLE in a 1987 cover story. “We did what everyone else was doing all those years.”

Harmon said she tried to keep the marriage alive by going on tour with Nelson, but said it only made matters worse.

“After a while we were totally messed up, both of us. I got into therapy and so did he for a while but then he started not showing up,” Harmon said in 1987. “I tried telling my family, there’s a drug problem here and we’ve all got to help. But they totally denied there was anything wrong.”

In 1980, Harmon filed for divorce, and received temporary custody of their children. The divorce, which was finalized two years later, was “messy,” with each accusing the other of poor parenting and addiction.

During this period of her life, Harmon descended further into drug and alcohol abuse, and struggled to survive financially. She told PEOPLE in 1987 that her parents and brother Mark did not support her. However, her parents did buy her a house in Brentwood, which they later allowed her to buy herself at a price far below market value. For a period of time, Sam lived with Harmon’s parents.

Harmon said Sam rarely saw Nelson, and she wanted to check into the Betty Ford clinic for rehab. She eventually went to AA in 1983, and said she got sober.

At this point, the battle for custody over Sam began, first with her parents.

“My parents made it real difficult. For one thing, Sam had a wonderful life at their house. He had golf lessons at the country club and an amazing assortment of toys,” Harmon told PEOPLE. “And then I’d find my mother in the driveway in the middle of the night, handing him toys or blankets, saying ‘You forgot this’ or ‘You need this.’ And I’d say, ‘What are you doing!’ My mother never placed any value on the fact that I work. According to her, women should be moms. Forget that I needed the money.”

In the midst of this situation, Nelson died in a plane crash in 1985. Sam was only 12 years old at the time.
Harmon claimed she and Sam were getting along well, but her sister Kelly Harmon told PEOPLE in 1987 otherwise.

Kelly said Sam called up Mark to complain about his mother, a call that set up a court battle in 1987. Mark received temporary custody of Sam and Harmon was ordered to stay 200 yards away from Mark’s house before the trial began. But in the end, the family agreed to give Harmon custody of Sam, and Mark was given visiting rights. Harmon, Sam and Mark also agreed to family therapy.

Despite the family feud, Harmon told PEOPLE in 1987 that she credited Mark with getting her life back on track.

“Nobody but my brother could have talked me into this, because I trusted him,” Harmon said. “A voice inside me said, ‘For once in your life, let somebody help you.’”

In a 2016 interview with Medium, Sam said he was still close with his mother, who was living in New Mexico at the time.

“As you get older, things that were important aren’t important anymore,” Sam said. “Problems aren’t problems anymore. You work through them, or you don’t. But for the most part, you hope to. I think we’re in a good way together, and we have a good relationship.”

According to Harmon’s daughter, Tracy Nelson, Harmon died of a heart attack on April 27.

“Thanks Universe, for incarnating me into a group who lives through their art and painting and music and words so that if I ever need to check in with those that have gone I can, if my children ever need to know who they were, they can,” Tracy Nelson wrote on Facebook. “It lessens the panic of never seeing someone again, face to face. Oh my God, such a Hurricane. Such a life.”

Photo credit: Facebook/ Tracy Nelson