Kesha Admits to Past Eating Disorder Struggles: ‘I Hated Myself So Much’

Kesha is taking control of her life back.

The pop singer reflected on the personal battles with some of her inner demons on Sunday’s episode of CBS Sunday Morning. One of those demons included her highly-publicized eating disorder, which she said she overcame by personally deciding to seek treatment.

“I knew I had to because I hated myself so much,” Kesha said.

The “Praying” singer admitted to her eating disorder back in a 2017 interview with Rolling Stone.

“I really just thought I wasn’t supposed to eat food,” she said at the time.”And then if I ever did, I felt very ashamed, and I would make myself throw up because I’d think, ‘Oh, my God, I can’t believe I actually did that horrible thing. I’m so ashamed of myself because I don’t deserve to eat food.”

The Nashville native admitted the disease got worse as her career went on.

“I was slowly, slowly starving myself,” she said. “The worse I got and the sicker I got, the better a lot of people around me were saying that I looked. They would just be like, ‘Oh my gosh, keep doing whatever you’re doing! You look so beautiful, so stunning.’”

Kesha remembered finally calling her parents after a particularly mortifying dinner party.

“I just had all this mounting anxiety. And then finally I was like, ‘F—. This. S—. F— this s—. I’m hungry!’” she exclaimed. “I remember just shaking because I was so fed up, so anxious, and I was just mad that I had let myself get to that point.”

“I didn’t know how to even eat. At that point, I’d forgotten how to do it,” she continued. “I just remember crying into a carbohydrate, being like, ‘I can’t eat it. It’s going to make me fat, and if I’m fat, I can’t be a singer because pop stars can’t eat food — they can’t be fat.’”

Between that and her legal battle with former producer Lukasz “Dr. Luke” Gottwald, Kesha said in that same interview that she felt she finally got her life back when she put out her latest album, Rainbow.

“I feel like myself,” she said. “I made a record I’m extremely proud of, from the bottom of my guts.”

Starting on June 6 in Phoenix, Arizona, Kesha will be touring with rapper Macklemore for a nationwide concert tour.

“Animals I’m so excited!!” she wrote promoting the tour on Instagram on Wednesday. “The Adventures of Kesha and [Macklemore] starts in 35 days!! Get your tickets at link in bio and come boogie with me.”