Celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain, who was found dead Friday at the age of 61 of an apparent suicide, opened up about his regrets, shame and what he referred to as his “unhappy soul” in a 2017 interview.
The Parts Unknown host was found in his hotel room in Strasbourg, France. He wrote a best-seller about his time as a chef and received numerous awards and nominations for his work since gaining prominence in 2000.
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He was also open about his struggled with drug addiction and history of heroin use.
In a January 2017 interview with The Guardian, Bourdain talked about his chaotic life in the kitchen, saying he had finally “put aside my psychotic rage, after many years being awful to line cooks, abusive to waiters, bullying to dishwashers.”
“I was an unhappy soul, with a huge heroin and then crack problem. I hurt, disappointed, and offended many, many, many people, and I regret a lot. It’s a shame I have to live with,” he said.
He did mention, however how he was in the best shape of his life at the time.
“I travel 250 days a year. I’m lean, my alcohol bloat has gone, and I do Brazilian jiu-jitsu every day.”
He said he had “learnt to take food less seriously and try whenever possible to experience it emotionally rather than as a professional or critic.”
“When you’ve seen what I’ve seen on a regular basis, it changes your worldview,” he said.
Bourdain was in France filming new episodes of Parts Unknown, which he traveled the world and reported on local cuisine and culture.
“I’ve spent such a lot of time in the developing world. I was caught in a war in Beirut, been in Liberia, the Congo, Iraq, and Libya, and realized how fast things can get bad, how arbitrary good fortune and cruelty and death,” he said. “I suppose I’ve learnt humility. Or something.”
Bourdain also touched on being close to death at points in his career.
“The great Warren Zevon was asked, close to death, whether he had any important words of wisdom to pass on, and he said, ‘Enjoy every sandwich.’ I definitely enjoy my sandwiches, given how low I fell and how likely it was that there was going to be a different and tragic outcome.”
“I’m a pretty lucky man. I enjoy my food and presenting Parts Unknown. I have the best job in the world,” he said.
Bourdain leaves behind a daughter, as well as girlfriend Asia Argento.
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
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