Alyssa Scott, Nick Cannon’s partner, has taken to Instagram to mourn their late son with a heartbreaking photo, ahead of Christmas. Earlier this month, Cannon confirmed that 5-month-old Zen died from a brain tumor. Us Weekly reports that, on Dec. 23, Scott shared an image of the crib in Zen’s room, along with some clothes, toys, and a holiday outfit that the baby would have worn.
“Maybe you close the door to the nursery. Maybe you leave it open. Maybe you have boxed some things away – maybe you still fold and put them in the drawers This is where I’m at,” Scott wrote in a caption on the photo. “Walking by his room … sometimes going in. Washing some of his clothes but putting aside others that still have his scent. A pile is growing because I don’t know exactly what to do but I’m not rushing myself to a decision.” She added, “I am thinking of all who are grieving this holiday season. I am also reading your messages and keeping them close to me during this time. Love.”
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Following her sons tragic death, Scott mourned the loss by writing to the late infant. “Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here,” the model wrote on an Instagram Stories post on Dec. 8. “I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me.”
She continued, “When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening. These last five months we have been in this race together. We would hand the baton off to each other. You kept me going. It would be the middle of the night and you would smile at me. A surge of energy would fill my body and pure joy would radiate from within me. We were a team, both determined to see it through.”
Scott went on to write that not having Zen in her arms “feels unbearable,” then adding, “I can’t. And in this moment I feel myself being carried. By your sister. By God. By complete strangers encouraging me to not give up. It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy. I will love you for eternity. 6•23•21 – 12•5•21.”
