When Eva Amurri Martino's now three-month-old son, Major, was just five weeks old, a night nurse fell asleep while holding him, dropping him on the ground and cracking his skull. As a result, Amurri Martino's breast milk production suffered severely, and she made the decision to begin giving Major formula.
In a new post on her blog, Happily Eva After, the actress opened up about the difficult period after Major's injury and her decision to stop breastfeeding, writing that her breastfeeding journey became "totally thrown off" after her son's accident.
"While we were in the hospital with him, and in the next couple of weeks, my milk supply dipped big time," Amurri Martino wrote. "The stress was just too much for my body, and I had to start pumping to up my supply, as well as use lactation tea to increase it...But then, my post-partum anxiety began, and my milk supply has been so troubled ever since."
The actress, who is also mom to daughter Marlowe, 2, shared that she felt incredibly guilty about the amount of milk she was producing, which only made things worse.
"What made this even worse is how much I would blame myself for it all," she explained. "I would put so much pressure on myself to battle the anxiety so that my son’s food source wouldn’t suffer. When I would fall short (which you always do when you try to strong-arm anxiety!), I would feel even worse for 'failing' my son."
Eventually, her husband, Kyle Martino, stepped in, and suggested that Amurri Martino begin giving Major formula to lessen her own struggle. The actress agreed, and shared that when she gave her son the first bottle of formula, she was "fighting back tears." Despite her fears, her son's smile made her feel that "he was telling me it was ok– not to worry, and that he knew how much I love him."
"This wasn’t an easy decision for me, but I will say that I felt a great sense of relief after making it," she added. "I think as Moms it’s never easy to make a decision based on our own needs, but it’s important to remember that as Mamas we are the beacons of light that our children follow. If we are miserable it’s very challenging to make our kids happy and to help them shine as brilliantly as they deserve to. Secure your own oxygen mask before helping other passengers!"
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