Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’s Wife Allison Holker Discovered His Drug Addiction Before His Funeral

Allison Holker, widow of dancer and Ellen DeGeneres Show DJ Stephen “tWitch” Boss, has revealed she uncovered a devastating secret while preparing for her husband’s funeral. While selecting his burial outfit, Holker found what she describes as a “cornucopia” of drugs, including mushrooms, pills, and “other substances I had to look up on my phone” hidden in his shoeboxes.

“It was a really triggering moment for me because there were a lot of things I discovered in our closet that I did not know existed,” Holker, 36, shared in an interview with People magazine. “It was very alarming to me to learn that there was so much happening that I had no clue [about]. It was a really scary moment in my life to figure that out, but it also helped me process that he was going through so much and he was hiding so much, and there must have been a lot of shame in that.”

Throughout their nine-year marriage, Holker believed they maintained “very honest” communication, including about Boss’s marijuana use. She was aware he would retreat to their guesthouse after the children were asleep to smoke or drink, viewing it as “his alone time” to recharge.

The discovery led Holker to examine her late husband’s journals, where she found evidence of deeper struggles, including references to childhood trauma. “He was wrestling with a lot inside himself, and he was trying to self-medicate and cope with all those feelings because he didn’t want to put it on anyone because he loved everyone so much,” she explained.

Looking back, Holker noticed changes in his behavior before his death at age 40 in December 2022. He appeared withdrawn, showered less frequently, and increased his smoking habits to morning and night. While he acknowledged going through a difficult period, he was “very careful about this wording.”

Holker, who details her healing journey in her upcoming memoir This Far (out Feb. 4), hopes sharing these painful revelations might help others struggling in silence. “It really hurts me that Stephen held everything in for as long as he did. He was always so strong for everyone,” she said, adding, “I want someone that maybe is struggling with their own mental health and having questions of if they want to take themselves to the other side — don’t do it because you’re going to affect way more people than you ever knew.”

After sharing a video from her cover story with People on Tuesday on her own Instagram page, Holker advised others to seek help in dealing with trauma.

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“I’ve had some major lows as I’m trying to figure this out and navigate this myself and I’m very scared to ask for help. And I’m learning how much strength it actually shows when you decide to stand up for yourself and ask for help, and finally lean on someone,” she explained.

“I know for me, for the last two years, I felt like I wanted to get my kids through everything. I wanted to get my family through everything. And I wanted to get all my friends and all the fans and all these people that loved our family so much, I wanted to make sure I could carry them and get them through it,” she continued. “And then I realized, well, wait, I haven’t taken a moment to also heal myself. And so it’s like I’m learning that what he experienced, I want to be an example of now and show other people they can do it.”

Responding to criticism about sharing these private details, Holker defended her decision on Instagram: “I’ll always love you. Just trying to help people feel safe to ask for help and support.”

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline​. The previous Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available.