Nikki Bella Paused Wedding to John Cena Because Making a Mistake ‘Literally Was Eating Me Alive’

Nikki Bella has been opening up lately to media outlets about ending her engagement to John Cena, and her latest revelation just might be the most heartbreaking.

Bella and sister Brie Bella spoke with Access on Thursday as part of their promotion for the upcoming season of Total Bellas.

The former WWE Superstar said by the end of the relationship she just wanted to go through with the wedding to keep those around her happy, and that it only made her miserable.

“As women we’re such pleasers and especially when you get so close to your wedding you don’t want to disappoint your family, his family, you think about everything you’ve paid for… so you just go through with it,” Bella said.

“I was gonna do that but it literally was just eating me alive and I was like ‘I need to just put this on pause,’” she continued. “That’s what I want to come out of this at the end of the day is just to give women bravery.”

Bella said she hopes she can inspire other women to speak up if they’re unhappy with an engagement, and that it was reason she wanted to keep doing the reality show.

“That’s what made me want to let the cameras keep rolling, instead of demanding them to be off,” Bella said. “Some women go through with [marriage] even though they know it’s not right. I can be that leader and that face for them to give them that bravery and that courage.”

The two had been together for six years, with Cena proposing in the middle of the ring at WrestleMania 33 in April 2017. Bella announced the split via Instagram in April.

“After much contemplation and 6 years of being together Nikki Bella and John Cena announced today their decision to separate as a couple,” the statement read. “While this decision was a difficult one, we continue to have a great deal of love and respect for one another. We ask that you respect our privacy during this time in our lives.”

Despite the split, Bella admitted in a different recent interview that she’s holding onto hope that the two can reconcile their differences.

“A healthy me will be a healthy us,” she said. “Before I say those vows and walk down that aisle I don’t want to be hesitant, I don’t want to be regretful. I know right now I need to work on me.”

“I definitely have hope, I really do,” she added.