Tyler Baltierra is struggling.
In the season premiere of Teen Mom OG, the reality star seemed to be distant from his family members, including his mother.
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“Are you taking care of yourself?” Kim asked her son as his wife, Catelynn, listened.
“I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s [Catelynn’s] mental illness on top of dealing with all that and then having to be super strong,” Baltierra replied. “I’m trying to keep it all together upstairs.”
The 25-year-old decided to visit the couple’s therapist, where he revealed how he was really feeling.
His therapist, Kathleen, brought up Baltierra’s troubled father, Butch, who just violated his parole.
“At first, I immediately just got angry. I was like, ‘Oh my god.’ It almost brought me right back to when I was a teenager, a kid,” Baltierra admitted. “And then, now, it’s like, okay, I literally have no strength left.
“I literally exhausted it on Cate, and now, you know, I’ve exhausted it on my dad. It’s like, just put my arms down and let the walls just come down, because it’s too much. I don’t have any more strength. It’s gone,” he added.
He went on to explain how some of his behaviors remind him of his childhood when he was depressed and attempted suicide.
“This is exactly what happened as a kid. I remember when I first started feeling depressed when I was a younger kid, I would just do a lot of, like, dazing. Like, I would just, like, stare off. And these are signs that I remember as a kid, and that’s when I tried committing suicide. And, just — yeah, it was the same thing. I don’t feel joy with things that should probably feel joyful. And I’m like super negative,” he confessed.
Because Catelyn has had her own struggles with postpartum depression and anxiety, Baltierra said he is hesitant to talk to her about his own issues.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m neglecting myself to focus on her so much. And that’s not fair, you know? But at the same time, it’s like, you know how she gets if I say anything, so I don’t say too much, because, first of all, I don’t want to push her into a panic attack. Second off, she overreacts with things and will start crying. It’s weird, too, because I almost feel like I’m being unauthentic, like I should probably tell her all the things that I’m worried about or concerned about,” he said.
[H/T Twitter / @usweekly]
This story first appeared at Womanista.
