On top of the world while promoting her first solo album in 11 years, Fergie is giving candid insights into her battle with crystal meth years ago and her split from husband of eight years, Josh Duhamel.
"At my lowest point, I was [suffering from] chemically induced psychosis and dementia,"the 42-year-old pop star in an interview with i newspaper. "I was hallucinating on a daily basis. It took a year after getting off that drug for the chemicals in my brain to settle so that I stopped seeing things. I'd just be sitting there, seeing a random bee or bunny."
Her hallucinations became so severe that she thought the CIA, FBI and a SWAT team were tracking her. She eventually sought solace in a church, which the former Black Eyed Peas member believes came from her Catholic upbringing.
"They tried to kick me out, because I was moving down the aisles in this crazy way, as I thought there was an infrared camera in the church trying to check for my body. I bolted past the altar into a hallway and two people were chasing me," she said.
"I remember thinking, 'If I walk outside, and the SWAT team's out there, I was right all along. But if they're not out there, then it's the drugs making me see things and I'm going to end up in an institution. And if it really is the drugs, I don't want to live my life like this any more, anyway.' I walked out of the church; obviously there was no SWAT team, it was just me in a parking lot. It was a freeing moment.
"The drugs thing, it was a hell of a lot of fun… until it wasn't. But you know what, I thank the day it happened to me. Because that's my strength, my faith, my hope for something better." she said.
Not everyone could go from a powerful addiction like crystal meth and turn themselves into a successful singer like Fergie did. She says working hard is what pulled her out of that desperate period in her life. Two things she spends her time working hard on? Her career, which now includes hosting the new singing competition The Four, and her body, which she says she's proud of.
"I work really hard for my body and I'm proud that I do. Just because you have a child or get to a certain age, it doesn't mean you don't wanna show off your hard work. It's only natural," she said.
The "MILF$" singer shared her disdain for shaming moms who wear "revealing" clothing, which is partly where the suggestive 2016 single came from.
"['MILF$'] is making a statement, slapping down the rules, in a way that's unapologetic and in your face. And I got to be cheeky with it, too," she said.
"I remember Chrissy Teigen went out for dinner about two weeks after she had her kid and it was this huge mommy-shaming moment. I just found it so weird. I mean, the girl's gotta eat! So what if she wants to put on some make-up and feel good about herself? Why is that so wrong?" she questioned.
Teigen was later joined by Kim Kardashian in the Stepford-era, double entendre-filled music video for "MILF$," which is pronounced "MILF money" and is a play off "milk money."
She says she asked Kardashian to be in the video when she was playing her music for her at dinner one night.
"If you say the word MILF, Kim's face and body would come up in a lot of people's minds. It was just pretty obvious to me," Fergie said.0comments
As for how the self-proclaimed MILF handles raising her 4-year-old son, Axl, amid her split from Duhamel, Fergie says "thank the Lord for FaceTime."
"Because both Josh and I are working full-time right now. It gets tough and we get tired, but we're trying our hardest to make sure that kid feels nothing but love," she said.