‘Married at First Sight’ Star Jamie Otis Posts Emotional Tribute to Child She Miscarried

Married at First Sight star Jamie Otis suffered a miscarriage when she was four months pregnant in July, and she and husband Doug Hehner are still grieving for their lost son, who they later named Jonathan Edward, PEOPLE shares.

Otis used Instagram Monday to share an emotional tribute to the child she lost, sharing a photo of herself wearing a bathing suit while Hehner stands next to her and proudly shows off her baby bump.

“I was so happy to have you in my belly,” Otis captioned the snap. “I was 3 months pregnant with you in this photo … little did I know a month later I’d lose you.”

“The heartache since you left has been excruciating,” she continued. “Johnny, I can’t help but think of what you’d look like if you were able to stay in there safe & sound & come to us like you were supposed to for Christmas. I’ll always love & honor you. You’re my angel baby. Even though we only met briefly & I only got to hold you & give you kisses once — I still miss you. I’ll always, always love you.”

Otis also added a quote that read, “It wasn’t my choice to survive without you. So I will spend my life living for you and honoring you.”

The reality star has been candid on social media about her journey after losing Jonathan, writing on her blog in August that the thought of a rainbow baby is giving her hope.

“Hearing stories of [lost babies] and coping mechanisms has helped me, but what has really helped me is hearing stories of others who have gone on to have their rainbow babies,” she wrote. “And those who say they got pregnant with their rainbow baby within months of losing their first baby gives me even more hope.

“I don’t know how others handle [losing babies], but for me I have this strange idea that the solution to my problem is to be pregnant again,” she added. “I just feel like there is an emptiness in me that can’t be filled.”

This story first appeared at Womanista.