Are you one of those people who has been worried about trying to make that perfect meal this year for the holidays? If so, let these perfectly terrible Thanksgiving cooking disasters make you feel a little more optimistic about the holiday season.
I hope my coworkers like crunchy dressing. I made @cavemanketo Almond Bun Stuffing for my work Thanksgiving tomorrow and burnt the shit out of it. Le sigh. At least my mashed cauliflower came out 💣. #Keto #LCHF #ThanksgivingFail #ForFatsSake #Stuffing #ILikeMyBunsToasty #BlueDiamond #ImmaStillEatIt #Friendsgiving #KetogenicLifestyle #Fauxtatoes
User TheDefiniteIntegral shared a tale that most would be familiar with: a mixed blend of family politics and senility.
"Grandma forgot that she was going to a niece's for dinner, and started thawing a bird. Remembered her plans, then decided to cook the bird anyways and bring it.
Might not have been a big deal, except 1) she was losing her faculties so no one knew how long it was in her freezer, how long it sat out before cooking, or if she cooked it enough. 2) The niece decided to have fish, not turkey so it seemed like grandma was passively aggressively stealing her dinner.
All the guests got to choose between offending the host, or offending grandma."
One user named atworknotworking89 posted a story about being particularly upset with Grandma after she burned the turkey one year, and the aftermath of the situation.
"One time my grandmother burnt the turkey. It was disastrous to me as a kid, because I hated crispy food. It was such a huge deal to me that every year for like 5 years, I would hover over my grandma in the kitchen and ask her if she was burning it again.
Poor grandma :( I woulda killed me."
Anoteher Reddit user, TupacSchwartzODoyle, detailed a story that sounds like it came straight out of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or another holiday disaster movie.
"Had Thanksgiving at a cousin's home. They put the turkey and ham in the dining room while everyone was still milling about talking and watching football.
Unknown noises coming from the dining room soon after revealed 2 cocker spaniels and a boxer on top of the table eating everything!"
Neil Montana posted a response about his roomate's alcohol-induced arrogance that ruined Thanksgiving in an disastrous way.
My former roommate was the type of guy that always needed to impress. We were having 8 guests, and he really wanted to make a big to-do. He purchased an extra-large, 30# turkey for the event. He also purchased one of those disposable roasting pans made of aluminum foil, the kind with handles on the sides. After several hours of cooking (and multiple glasses of scotch), he opened the oven door to remove the turkey. I could see he was struggling and offered assistance, but he insisted he was fine. The laws of physics disagreed. As he removed the pan (sans the suggested cookie sheet or other recommended supporting device) by the handles, it collapsed inward, spilling the drippings onto the floor and (unfortunately) back into the oven. The resulting fireball was apocalyptic. My roommate lost his hair, eyebrows, and goatee — and also learned three unfortunate lessons.
1. Less is more.
2. Cooking under the influence usually turns out badly.
3. You can never fully remove the evidence of a massive grease fire from the ceiling of your apartment.
One Reddit user Caddy Jellby shared a cautionary tale to remind everyone about safety when cooking up the turkey.
Imagine the scene – hours and hours of elaborate cooking, the table is gorgeous, the family is gathered. The turkey is brought out, it is glorious. I begin to carve, steam rises, the slices fall beautifully. My knife hits the meat thermometer which I have somehow neglected to remove. It glances aside and hits my left thumb. Blood, blood, blood. I am rushed to the emergency room. Hours later, I return to the scene. The family has dined. Food and dishes rest exactly where they were at the close of the meal. There is still blood everywhere. It looks as though Lizzy Borden came for the holidays. I love my family, but they are still unforgiven for that.
What is your biggest holiday disaster?