David Spade Speaks out on Sister-in-Law Kate’s Suicide: ‘There’s No Going Back’

David Spade opened up about sister-in-law Kate Spade’s suicide, more than a year later. The former Saturday Night Live comedian said he believes it was an impulsive decision and shared his fond memories of Kate, who died on June 5, 2018 at age 55. Her husband, Spade’s brother Andy, said she was being treated for depression and anxiety.

“I feel like Katy wouldn’t have done it, five minutes later,” Spade told The New York Times. “But these things happen and there’s no going back.”

Spade described Kate as “so funny,” adding, “I don’t know if agoraphobic is the word, but she didn’t like to mingle a lot; she’d have people at her house and she was always so funny.”

This was not the first time Spade has dealt with suicide. His stepfather took his own life when Spade was 15, and some of his “close friends” died during his teens and 20s.

“People just started going right and left, and I would sit and stare at a wall,” Spade said. “I just said, ‘OK, I guess I’ll cross my fingers that it doesn’t happen to everyone.’ And more people would go.”

Spade also reflected on the death of his close friend and SNL co-star Chris Farley, who died from a drug overdose in 1997. Spade said he still receives strange negative comments on Twitter and Facebook. Some people have told him, “I wish you died instead of Chris Farley.”

“The first couple times it was rough,” he told the Times. “But now it’s the standard burn. I wish I didn’t get that three times a week.”

Others have told him they cannot see him acting without Farley, but Spade refuses to stop performing.

“But do you just stop doing what you’re doing because of a tragedy?” he wondered. “You have to go, well, I still like doing this. Some people won’t be interested. But I did three sitcoms after that. It wasn’t totally horrible.”

On the one-year anniversary of Kate’s death, the fashion brand she helped launch, Kate Spade New York, said it finished donating $1 million to suicide prevention and mental health groups.

“The Kate Spade New York Foundation announced it is donating $200,000 to The Jed Foundation (JED), which works to protect emotional health and prevent suicide in teens and young adults by partnering with schools and colleges to improve education and awareness programs,” the brand said in a statement to PEOPLE.

Spade can be seen in his new late-night show Lights Out With David Spade, which starts on Comedy Central on July 29.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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