Actor Tom Sizemore has opened up about his decades of drug abuse and how he's regrouped after becoming sober in 2013.
Sizemore is known for his countless action and drama roles in revered films such as Saving Private Ryan, Natural Born Killers, Black Hawk Down and Heat. He's also known for numerous television appearances, such as on The Red Road and the reality show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
However, the 55-year-old actor has been through numerous ups and downs due to his addictions to cocaine, heroin and crystal meth. Luckily, he's been sober since 2013, and has roles lined up in the revival season Twin Peaks and a co-starring role alongside Liam Neeson.
"Drugs are a progressive disease," Sizemore told the Daily Mail. "If I do drugs again I go right back to where I was before, I was ineffectual, I could barely get dressed, I was hopeless.
"I’m coming up on four years sober, it was really difficult, the first two years were miserable I thought I’d never smile again. But I am smiling again, you’ve got to stick around until you feel better."
Scroll down for more details about Sizemore's addiction and recovery.
Sizemore's addiction began in the early '90s shortly before starring in Natural Born Killers alongside Wood Harrelson, Robert Downey, Jr. and Tommy Lee Jones. He tried cocaine for the first time at an A-list Hollywood party and was soon hooked on the drug within two weeks.
"My head exploded, everything was more colorful and I was like, 'this is what I've been missing, this is why everyone is so happy,'" he said. "It made me feel like this is who I am, I'm with it now, I'm connected, I'm excited."
He decided to kick the drug when filming began for Natural Born Killers, so he threw out all his drugs. Unfortunately, he soon relapsed and called up a drug dealer for a fix.
In 1999, Sizemore got another wake-up call when he visited Downey while the latter was in the state prison in Corcoran, California, on drug charges.
"I remember walking into that prison and thinking, how in the world did the finest actor of my generation end up like this," he said. "He's the most inventive and creative actor I've ever met and now this guy is flat broke, hopelessly addicted to heroin and crack and he's doing two years in California State Prison.
"I said to myself, I will never let this happen to me. And then lo and behold in 2005 I'm there too, I had a brief stay at Corcoran."
Sizemore was arrested in 2007 and 2009 on drug charges that landed him in jail for 16 months.
He revealed that his prison life was rough at first. He was involved in 11 fights his first week, as being an actor put a target on his back.
"If somebody had killed me he would have gotten some kudos," he said.
Those drug charges were apart of a bigger spiral for the acclaimed actor. His career opportunities slimmed down due to his addiction, money was starting to become scarce and his living situation was put in jeopardy.
"To have everything, a 24 hour cook, a 24 hour maid, the whole ball of wax. Several million dollars in the bank and job after job after job, then to have it so abruptly stop," Sizemore said.
At one point, he had to sell his multimillion dollar home, and begged Jack Nicholson for an enormous loan.
"So I was driving around in my car for a couple of weeks, I mean I was on drugs, I was thinking I’m gonna get the money to buy a $5 million home and I’m asking certain people for money," he said. "I asked Jack Nicholson, 'Can you loan me $10 million?' and he said, 'In a word, no.'"
Luckily for Sizemore, he's been clean since 2013. Now, all he's focused on is working on his relationship with his 12-year-old twin sons Jayden and Jagger and reigniting his career.
One way he looked to get his profile back up was to receive a hair transplant surgery. He says the restoration of the thing parts of his hair has given him the ego boost needed to feel confident as an actor.
"Every day that goes by I feel better, and having my hair done gives me the self-confidence every actor needs," he said. "I like myself again and I feel good again, for an actor that’s so important ... you can’t act if you don’t believe in what you’re doing."
Scroll down to watch the full interview with Sizemore.
Sizemore will appear in the upcoming Showtime revival of Twin Peaks in an unknown role. He'll also appear in the historical drama Felt, which also stars Liam Neeson and Michael C. Hall, among others.
Follow Tom Sizemore on Twitter at @tomsizemore.