Bonnie Chapman Says Her Depression Was at 'All Time High' Amid Mom Beth's Cancer

01/02/2018 09:09 pm EST

Bonnie Chapman is finally opening up about the many "hardships" she faced, including mom Beth Chapman's cancer diagnosis and surgery this summer.

The 18-year-old daughter of Beth and Duane "Dog" Chapman of Dog the Bounty Hunter fame penned a heartfelt letter to 2017 Monday, opening up about her problems transitioning to college life, losing friends and fearing for her mother's life after a devastating diagnosis.

"Dear 2017," she started the caption of a Snapchat photo of her and sister Cecily Chapman. "You were filled with so many hardships. I graduated, under immense stress and unrealistic expectations. I was forced to fake a smile as I accepted a diploma, although I was terrified of the future in college. I was able to come out of my shell even more, raise my voice and express my opinions. I left for college, and because of what was going on around me; it was tougher than I'd like to admit. I lost friends (which I had thought were going to my by lifetime long friends) almost immediately following my move."

She admitted that she thought it was "the end of the world" at the time, but two weeks later, she was hit with the "heartbreaking" news that her mom had aggressive throat cancer that gave her only a 50/50 chance of living.

"My depression was at its all time high," she said, adding that schoolwork only contributed to her anxiety.

But even though so much of the year was horrible, Bonnie drew on the famous Chapman toughness to take something away from the negative experiences.

"From all this, I learned so much," she said. "I don't regret anything, life is too short to regret things anyways. I was able to love myself, and gain confidence."

She added that she knows she's not alone in having had a tough year: "Everyone seems to have had a extremely s—y year, and I get it; it's been terrible," she said. "On the bright side, I've learned how to make the best out of terrible situations. To a new year, and a new appreciation and perspective."

Mom Beth's battle with cancer was documented in the A&E special Dog and Beth: Fight of Their Lives in November.

In the special, Beth had revealed that doctors had given her a 50/50 chance as she underwent surgery to remove the tumor in her throat.

"When we made a pledge many years ago," Dog previously told People. "I said I'd love her in sickness and in health until death do us part. And that truth has really, really come alive in my mind. And I have to stand on that; I gave her an oath that I would love her forever. And thank God it's not till death do us part at this point."

At the end of the special, however, Dog received news from the doctors that Beth was now "cancer-free."

"There is a God. This could be a miracle. This could be a healing," he said on camera. "[The doctor] said if I wasn't such a good husband it wouldn't have worked out that great. Oh, I can breathe. Beth Chapman, you did it."

Photo credit: Instagram/@mrsdogc)

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