10 of the Most Bizarre McDonald's Reviews Revealed

Haiku Review

The Daily Mail found one one-star review for a New York City McDonald's written as a haiku.

"Swore I'd stop going/I eat away my sorrows/Don't f—ing go here. To Eat or Not to Eat? Quoth the raven nevermore," the review reads.

'This place STINKS'

"This place STINKS. Such a bummer, I was so excited for it too! I woke up, brushed my teeth for a solid ten minutes, then rushed over," Chris Stephens wrote of a Tijuanga, Califorina McDonald's.

"Such a bummer, I was so excited for it too! I woke up, brushed my teeth for a solid ten minutes, then rushed over. Here's the thing: everything at this McDonald's TASTES. LIKE. TOOTHPASTE. The fries, the burger, even the sodey pop! I don't know how they did it. I said to the manager, 'Yo, my man... why does my food taste like toothpaste?' He apologized to me and gave me a new meal. Guess what? THAT MEAL TASTED LIKE TOOTHPASTE TOO. One star."

Stephens was kicked off Yelp, notes the Daily Mail.

Slow McDonald's

One person complained about a Kansas City McDonald's being way too slow.

"Slowest McDonald's ever. EVER. Took 20+ minutes in the drive through for 1 sandwich and 1 iced coffee and they weren't even sorry about the wait. So much disorganization and chaos. This location deserves no stars," Kim wrote.

Trainee Accident

This customer complained about a McDonald's in Palatine, Illinois. His experience was ruined by a trainee, and his shirt ended up covered with Diet Coke. In the end, he was still thirsty.

Watery Oatmeal

The Daily Mail dug up a 2011 review from a customer so irate about watery oatmeal that he wrote a long diatribe about it. He said the oatmeal was much more fresh than the oatmeal served at Starbucks, but when he got oatmeal at McDonald's, it was too watery.

"You would think they were trained in the intricate art of oatmeal preparation, but obviously not," the person wrote.

Star Wars: Attack of the Bad McDonald's

A 2008 review shows a Houston resident complaining about a McDonald's as if it was a Sith Lord out to wreak havoc on our stomachs. It was a five-star review, dripping with sarcasm. "Together we may rule this galaxy!" the customer wrote. He even had a Darth Vader avatar.

Baby Got Buns

In 2015, this McDonald's customer in New Jersey praised the recent renovations at the location. However, there was one big problem. The manager likes to play Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" over and over again. "I would suggest something a little more neutral," the customer wrote.

Food Poisoning in Chicago

One McDonald's in Chicago has a number of one-star reviews. One person said he was vomiting uncontrollably after eating there.

"As I am hunched over a trash can vomiting uncontrollably: This McDonald's gave me food poisoning. I ordered a cheeseburger, small fry, and ice cream cone, and less than a few hours after eating it, I began to feel nauseous," the person wrote.

"A few hours after that, I started vomiting, and it's been about 8 hours since I first started and I've puked out all the contents of my stomach, even though the most recent time is was nothing but stomach acid and water until I was dry heaving. This IS NOT typical for me, and I can count on one hand how many times I've gotten food poisoning, so I am just tremendously disappointed. You will not see me as a patron there again."

Review in Song

This 2013 review was written by a big fan of "Old McDonald Had a Farm." Surprisingly, this four-star review was positive and builds to a strange climax. It was just so she could talk about how much she loves the McDonald's app.

Math Game

This man decided to use his math skills for something different: reviewing a McDonald's. Despite slamming the burgers for having mysterious ingredients and suggesting that the fires have "some derivative of cocaine infused into them," he gave the restaurant three stars. One of the negatives of McDonald's for him was "Making local adults & kids fatter with each bite."