Think back to your first sexually active relationship. Did you ever perform "sexy" tricks on your partner that thinking back on now make you cringe? (For example, taking the phrase "blow job" at literal value or foolishly listening to the guys at school who were probably/definitely exaggerating about actually getting any.)
As you can imagine, you're not alone in having received some terrible sex advice throughout the years. Especially when it comes to the Internet, sex tips can get pretty outlandish pretty quickly. Check out some of the worst sex advice ever given (and taken!). Sex is definitely different for everyone, but form your own opinions about these sex tips and learn from their mistakes if they don't sound as hot to you as they did to the original "expert."
"Finger her with ear wax on your finger."
Excuse me? In the murky depths of a Reddit thread about bad sex tips, one user wrote that fingering a girl with ear wax on the tip of your finger is a good way to tell if she has an STD; if she squirms or the ear wax burns, then she's positive for an STD. Not exactly scientific, is it? Please don't put ear wax inside someone else, especially without their consent.
"Give him homework."
Unless you're acting out a steamy roleplay scenario, never give your partner sexual homework. The old sex tip of asking your partner to list the top ten body parts he or she wants to lick, kiss, etc. is ancient history at this point. Because who wants to be doing extra work when they could be getting down to business?prevnext
"Be a human sushi platter."
Remember the Sex and the City episode when Samantha acted as a human sushi and sashimi platter? While it may be hilarious and sexy on the silver screen, in real life it's just a good way to contract salmonella poisoning from places you had no idea could even do that. Plus, who wants to waste some perfectly good sushi on a steamy sex session? Sushi deserves your full attention.
"Guys will think you're desperate if you make the first move."
While no one should have to make the first move if they're uncomfortable, thinking that you'll make yourself look bad by going after what you want is simply untrue. Go in for that first kiss or ask that cutie out if you're feeling it. Read the signs and if they're reciprocated, you just started something potentially awesome. If not, shake it off and move on.prevnext
We've heard some pretty out-there sex tips, but pressing a fork into someone's body parts (like their butt cheeks or thighs) takes the cake. If you and your partner are into BDSM, the pain could be exciting, but forking someone? It sounds like a cheap euphemism for what you two actually want to do. If you're trying to spice things up with your partner, check out these tips instead.
"Make him sneeze."
While you may have heard along the line somewhere that a sneeze is a tenth of an orgasm (which really isn't true, by the way), that doesn't mean sneezing should take a front seat in the bedroom. Waiting to tickle your partner's nose with a feather or sprinkle pepper beneath their nostrils until right before your partner orgasms can take you both out of the mood — and for what? To potentially add a tiny bit of extra pleasure to an already powerful orgasm?prevnext
"Double bag it."
While we're glad people are attempting to practice safe sex, it's important to verify your facts before you break them out willy-nilly. Case in point: Wearing two condoms will not give you double the protection from STIs, STDs and unwanted pregnancy. In fact, the extra friction will just cause them both to break, leaving you feeling pretty silly. If you really want double protection, think about using a condom with another form of birth control, like the pill or an IUD.
"Give him a BJ with Pop Rocks in your mouth."
It may sound fun and sexy, but the tingly sensation you're imagining could also lead to some nasty infections. Sugar in the urethra doesn't exactly sound pleasant, and one Reddit user even admitted to having "abrasions" after he and his partner tried it.prevnext
"Milk his cow."0comments
The plethora of concerning how-tos for giving a hand job is never ending: "milk him like a cow," and "open him like a jar" are two of our favorites. One Cosmo article even listed a man enticing women to "make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can." And telling someone to handle a penis as if they were milking a cow? Completely absurd.
"A woman can't get pregnant if she has an orgasm."
In that same Reddit thread, one user wrote about a certain suspicious rumor about a woman's orgasm. "My wife's circle of friends were telling each other that if the woman has an orgasm they won't get pregnant. And they were all trying to get pregnant... I suspect this was the result of a single lazy husband telling one that." News flash, people: the orgasm is just an added benefit of sex. You can still get pregnant with or without it.prev