9 Hilarious Times Women's Painstakingly Obvious Ploys for Sex Went Completely Unnoticed
We've all been there: We're on a date with a cute somebody, thinking everything is going swell. [...]
"One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. his exact response was, 'oh cool, what colour?' I sent him a pic of it and he replied with 'can you put it up your butt too?'. I sent him a text replying, 'come over and find out' and he replied two minutes later, 'nevermind, I just Googled it'" — wheat_empress
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"I was living with my then-boyfriend a few years ago. Feeling a little flirtatious, I suggested we could take a shower together, you know, to save water, wink wink.
His response? 'Why? We don't pay for water.'
Shut. Down." — Eternally_Curious_
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"Him: 'I dont want to pressure you, but it's pretty late and I think you should spend the night. My couch is super comfortable and I can make it up for you if you'd like.'
Me: 'Maybe I could sleep in your bed with you.'
Him: 'I promise the couch isn't bad'
Brutal." — Bloodwoodnewb
"I was laying down on a bench with my head in his lap talking about our previous /experiences/ (this was high school) and he told me he had never had a bj before. I told him, with my head in his crotch, that I could blow his mind. Nothing. Crickets." — cageswithoutkeys
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"I started talking to a guy who was behind on Game Of Thrones. So I offered to give him my HBO password so we could watch it at his place, thinking it would be a good excuse to hang out. He ends up marathoning the show without me. We're dating now, but he sure as hell not watch season 7 without me" — avameow
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"Me: so you're saying, if i like this guy, i should just be straightforward and ask him out?
Him: ya
Me: ok, do you want to go out with me this Friday?
Him: ya, just like that, it was perfect.
Me:..." — Katrath
"My fiance and I were chatting on FB Messenger near the start of our relationship and it went something like this:
Him: I haven't had sex in 2 years
Me: That's quite a streak, I'd hate to mess it up ;)
Him: Yeah it's been awhile
....
Wait, what" — IvytheSneaky
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"After a conversation with my boyfriend about not being obvious enough when trying to initiate sex, I decided to entice him by posing naked on the corner of the bed and seductively whispering "Hey, you" as he walked in the room.
His reaction? He walks in the room, gives me a bro nod, and says, 'Hey, babe! I gotta poop.'
We did NOT end up having sex that night." — coffeeisheroin
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"We were leaving the beach, and I decided to try the change the suit under the towel trick. Keeping eye contact, I told him if I messed up and flashed him, I hope he likes what he sees. He promply turned around to give me privacy." — lengthlyeyebrowhair
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