Sex with your long-term partner can be great: you both know what each other likes, how to get each other off, and the deep, loving connection you both share can often make sex even more intimate. However, if you’ve been married for a while, you know that what you gain in a loving connection, you often lose in sexual excitement. The tried and true routine you both stick can start to get boring, and before you know it, you’re not even looking forward to a Saturday morning snuggle. If you’re stick in a rut, don’t worry. We’ve gathered together the best tips to spice things up and help you and your partner remember what made sex with each other so hot in the first place.
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Before you go out and buy every piece of lingerie and every pair of furry handcuffs known to man, sit down with your partner and talk about how you’re feeling. It might be cliché to say that communication is everything, but when it comes to solving the sexual stagnancy in your relationship, it’s paramount that your partner knows exactly how you’re feeling. Explain that you while you love having sex with your partner, the routine has started to lack excitement. Share your fantasies with your partner, and encourage him to share his. Together, you might be able to find something you’re both willing to try.
If nothing springs to mind for either of you, try a new position. Missionary might be your go-to because it’s easy for both of you to orgasm and make deep, sensual eye contact, but have you tried girl on top, or doggy style? Including these positions in your rotation will bring different sensations to your sexy times, plus, you get to view your partner from a whole new angle.
Alternatively, you can try having sex in a new place. If your bonking normally takes place in the bedroom, why not try standing sex in the shower or against the kitchen counter? Making love in places you don’t normally associate with sex can be even more exciting—plus, the next time you look at the toaster and remember the reflection of you getting taken from behind, you might even be inspired to do it again.
If your sex is normally scheduled, i.e. sex on date night or only on weekends, try changing it up. Have sex in the morning before work, or right after you get home. Spontaneity can make the sex even more exciting—plus, who doesn’t love taking out their workplace stress with by getting all hot and sweaty with the one they love?
The key here is trying new things, because the reason your sex life is lackluster is most likely because you and your partner have settled into a comfortable, albeit slightly boring, sexual routine. By changing things up, you reignite your passion for each other, and you might even find new sexual positions or nooky locations along the way. All of the suggestions above are sex accessory free, but if you’re interested in exploring the world of sex toys, head over to our guide on the Best Sex Toys For Couples.