Lifestyle

This Is How Girl-on-Top Position Is Really Supposed to Work

Though the Golden Girls taught us to do the deed “only on your back… that way everything […]

Though the Golden Girls taught us to do the deed “only on your back… that way everything slides back and you look like you just had a facelift,” you know you want to spice things up in the bedroom! What better way than girl-on-top? It’s the ideal action for female orgasm, after all.

Cowgirl position is really a win/win for you and your partner. You get to control the depth and motion, plus you’ll be able to grind your hips in a way that gives more clitoral stimulation than any other position. This position also helps your man last longer as you slow things down!

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But the biggest reason you’re hesitant to giddy up cowgirl-style comes down to a lack of confidence—either in your own body, sexuality or trust with your partner.

If you think—as Dorothy does—”when you lean over, it looks like somebody’s let the air out of your face,” give yourself a break! Even if this angle isn’t your most flattering, your man seriously doesn’t care. You don’t need to lose 20 pounds to make girl-on-top incredible; he’ll just be happy you’re trying new things together.

Another common reason women opt for missionary only stems from a lack of sexual confidence; you think you aren’t ‘good’ at being in control. Long story short, there’s no way you can get it wrong, but you want to perfect the art and we get it.

Finally, you might think your man isn’t being pleasured enough or is judging your performance. Again, there’s absolutely no way this is the case, but to be certain you’ll rock his world, just give these tips a try.

Ready?

First, get comfortable!

Leave some things to the imagination
If you aren’t comfortable being totally naked, slip into a tank top or a flowy babydoll to eliminate any body insecurities that’d negatively affect your threshold for pleasure. This is about you, too!

Forget what you’ve seen
If you’ve watched any rom-com love scenes (or, dare we say, adult films) featuring girl-on-top, know that the real thing is literally nothing like that. You shouldn’t be gyrating at hyperspeed or slamming down on your partner with every insane thrust. This is meant to be a relaxed, sensual position; think: more grind, less bounce.

Be prepared to practice
If this isn’t part of your normal repertoire, it can feel awkward and it may be hard to relax with hundreds of thoughts swimming through your head. You’ll gain more confidence and learn new tricks with every ride, so just saddle up, make it a date and go the distance.

Talk things out with your sweetie.
Be honest with your partner if you’re nervous. If you need that gratification throughout the deed, make a game of your practice sessions. A few rounds of “this or that?” will have you riding like a rodeo queen. Um, yeehaw?

And if you aren’t ready to take full control, let him help! He can grab your hips and guide your movement to let you feel the pleasure without stressing over your performance.

Go exploring!
This position allows both your hands to be free—so use them! Since you’re doing the grunt work, he can touch other sensitive areas of your body to heighten your pleasure. He definitely won’t mind the view.

Now, how should it be done?

The most natural transition from a lying makeout sesh is to roll on top of your partner, placing your knees on the bed with your feet angled toward his. Your chest can lean over him using your arms as support, pull him up toward you for a skin-to-skin closeness, or lean back for a super-sexy show.

You can also try a more frog-like position by placing your feet on the mattress and squatting over him. For more lateral movements, this is the way to go!

Or for a more controlled, stable experience, grab a chair without armrests. Have him sit, then face him and straddle his waist. Cue Britney Spears‘ Private Show jam.

There are obviously a few ways to get going, and you shouldn’t give up on the girl-on-top position until you’ve tried them all; you know, different ‘strokes’ for different folks.