So it's been a while since you've felt the urge to get down and dirty? Don't let your less-than-peppy libido discourage you or stress you out — it's totally normal to feel meh about sex every once in a while.
You've probably heard that stress is a big factor when it comes to sex-drive killers. While stress can definitely affect the way you feel about sex, it's not the only thing keeping you from getting it on. Factors from hormone changes to your degree of self-confidence can also get in the way of a healthy sex life.
Plus, there could even be a few everyday habits holding you back that you're not even aware of. Check out these seven things that could be killing your sex drive — you'll thank us when you correct them and your life is filled with infinitely more orgasms.
As it turns out, it's not just an old wive's tale that warns against going to bed early. Holding onto resentment can block your connection with your partner and make you less likely to want to get busy when you hit the hay.
"It’s important to discuss unresolved issues and work towards a harmonious relationship, as this will keep your libido flowing," Alicia Sinclair, clinical sexologist and CEO of B-Vibe told Women’s Health.
Plus, holding a grudge can stress you out, which in turn produces the hormone cortisol, which can send your sex life on a one-way trip out of town.
Think about it — who wants to strip down to their skivvies after eating a heavy, salty snack? Heavy snacks make us feel sluggish, the exact opposite of the way you want to feel while in between the sheets with your partner.
Refined carbs and sugars are your enemy if you're trying to get down, so stick to lighter fare like fruits or veggies if you must have a bedtime snack. (Plus, a healthy diet overall will help your general health, sparking that sex drive once and for all.)
Who says you need a partner to get off? Masturbation techniques are getting more and more intriguing, so adopt a few and see what works best to get your juices flowing.
Not only does masturbation feel super good, it's also a form of self-care that allows you to learn about your bod and stay connected with your sexual desire. And there's always that added bonus of finding a new hot spot your partner hasn't been able to locate quite yet.
If you and your partner avoid talking about sex, that could be a huge factor in why you're not doing the deed very often. In fact, it doesn't even have to be with your partner; speaking out about sex with anyone, like a trusted friend or even therapist, could help you feel more connected to your own desires.
"Since healthy libido isn’t openly talked about, it is surrounded in mystery. This leads to a cycle of not speaking out about it, which keeps the topic in the dark," Kristie Overtreet, Ph.D., clinical sexologist and psychotherapist says. "This leads to an endless cycle of women who struggle with libido, which often leads them into thinking that they are flawed and broken."
Binge watching may be a staple in our entertainment lifestyle these days, but that doesn't mean your libido is happy about it. Being a couch potato can throw a major wrench in your sex life, since regular exercise is super important when it comes to getting in the mood.
Endorphins and hormones like serotonin and dopamine are produced when you exercise, which basically puts you on cloud 9 and can get you feeling frisky.
While any form of exercise will get the blood flowing, try doing squats and lunges to work your thighs, booty and pelvic floor (wink, wink). "This work stimulates blood flow and can positively affect your libido," Overstreet said.
Ironically, not having sex can lead to more of not having sex. If you stop having sex, your body is going to adjust to not wanting it on the reg anymore. The cycle is vicious, and it will only end when you put a stop to it.
"The more sex you have, the more sex you're likely to want," Sinclair said.
Many people think that drinking will make it easier to get in the mood because it lowers inhibitions, emboldening you to go for it. However, "too much alcohol can actually have the opposite effect, as it is known to decrease testosterone," Sinclair said.
Plus, it can decrease your levels of serotonin, that pleasure-inducing hormone you get from exercise. Sinclair says to stick to one or two drinks max if you're trying to get your mojo back.