After welcoming her first child, a rainbow baby, with husband Andrew East earlier this week, former Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson is opening up about her scary labor experience and the “guilt” she experienced after giving birth. In an Instagram post shared on Thursday, the mom-of-one admitted that she felt “guilty” and like she “had failed” after she chose to get an epidural and after delivering her baby via C-section rather than a natural birth.
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“22 hours of labor to end in a c section,” Johnson captioned a black-and-white photo of her family in the hospital, shortly after she welcomed her daughter. “I went in with such a stubborn mindset of thinking the only way I could bring our baby into the world was naturally. No meds no intervention.”
“At 14 hours when I chose to get an epidural I felt guilty,” she continued. “At 22 hours when we were told I had to get a c section I felt like I had failed. But after holding our sweet girl in my arms and being told everything went well and she had made it to us safely I could have cared less.”
“My/our world no longer has anything to do with us but everything to do with her,” she wrote. “It’s all for her and I will forever do anything for this girl that I love more than I ever could imagine. A love no one can ever prepare you for.”
Johnson concluded her post with a shout out to her husband as well as the doctors and nurses who helped her safely deliver her baby girl.
“[Andrew East] I meant it in the hospital when I said you will forever be my number one but she will now forever be OUR number one together,” she wrote. “Thank you to the incredible doctors and nurses who brought our baby girl into the world safely and to the best husband/daddy in the world for being there every step of the way.”
Johnson and East confirmed on Monday that they had welcomed their daughter. The little girl’s birth came after the couple had suffered a devastating miscarriage just two years earlier, which Johnson told PopCulture.com left her feeling “shameful and guilty” and “broken inside.”
The couple, who married in April 2016, announced in April of this year that they were expecting. In the days since welcoming their baby girl, they haven’t shied away from documenting their new lives as parents, which has gained plenty of praise from fans.