Why yes, we are writing this one because of some recent rumors! How did you guess?
Yes it's true, a few months ago the idea that Batista would be back on WWE television while he's starring in major film franchises like Guardians of the Galaxy, The Avengers, Blade Runner and James Bond seemed utterly ridiculous. But rumors keep popping up and even Big Dave himself stated publicly he wants one more run with the company, so let's give this one a shot.
Come to think of it, Batista would be in a much better position if he won this year than when he did in 2014. Daniel Bryan isn't around (supposedly) for the crowd to hijack an angle, Roman Reigns is still disliked by enough of the audience that anybody looks like a better alternative and the popularity of his Guardians character Drax would definitely score some babyface points with anybody who is a fan of those movies. Not to mention his rising star power in Hollywood makes him more of a box office draw now than it ever did in his original run.
So yeah, this could work. It's not a good sign for WWE that their best option for a WrestleMania main event is somebody that's outside of the company, but still. For at least the months from the Rumble through Mania, having Batista back could be fun.
But it takes two men to make a match, and Batista would need the right opponent for this to work. There's three routes they could go with this.
First there's John Cena, making this a rematch from WrestleMania XXVI. As fun as AJ Styles is, the odds of him keeping the WWE Championship headed into a match with the much larger Big Dave doesn't seem likely. This is one of Vince McMahon's musclebound golden boys, he's not letting all 5-11, 218 pounds of Farmer's Strength take down "The Animal." A Cena match provides some interesting opportunities. Both men were faces of the mid-to-late 2000s era, both are rising film stars and Cena is miles ahead of where he was back in 2010 wrestling-wise.
Next there's Brock Lesnar. The Beast versus Big Dave. The Conqueror against The Animal. Two huge sweaty men slamming the bajeezus out of one another until one can't get up. Vince would love it, Paul Heyman would have a blast hyping it up and the fans would flock just to see the spectacle. It's like Brock versus Goldberg last year, only with less disappointment.
Finally there's a return of the match that but Big Dave on the map - Batista versus Triple H. Yes this one might take some work as you'd need to pry the title off Lesnar first, but having this be Batista's final match almost seems too perfect. The two have so much history to play off of, and Hunter has mastered his corporate heel persona over the last few years. It might be as good as their WrestleMania 21 match (or the widely underrated Hell in a Cell match a few months after), but it be great as one last ride for The Animal.
Now let's just hope Philadelphia doesn't turn him into Boo-tista again.
Want more Royal Rumble manifestos? Here you go:
Why Ronda Rousey Will Win the Women's Royal Rumble
Why Paige Will Win the Women's Royal Rumble*
Why Sasha Banks Will Win the Women's Royal Rumble
Why Finn Balor Will Win the Royal Rumble
Why Brock Lesnar Will Win the Royal Rumble
Why Roman Reigns Will Win the Royal Rumble
Why Shinsuke Nakamura Will Win the Royal Rumble
Why John Cena Will Win the Royal Rumble