'Big Little Lies' Domestic Abuse Was Inspired by Author's Real-Life Events

Spoiler alert: spoilers for HBO's Big Little Lies herein!

If you found yourself immediately sucked into the world of HBO's Big Little Lies, you're not alone. The series had quite a successful night at the Emmy's this month, taking home eight awards including Outstanding Limited Series. This gave the cast plenty of airtime to talk about the show as they accepted award after award, but perhaps the most important statement of the night happened backstage.

Liane Moriarty, author of the book upon which the HBO series was based, gave us all some insight into the abusive relationship between characters Celeste (played by Nicole Kidman) and Perry (Alexander Skarsgård).

Backstage after the show's big win, Moriarty revealed that the so-real-it-hurts characterization of an abusive relationship in Big Little Lies was inspired by an actual experience in her own life. "It came from a really horrible ex-boyfriend," Moriarty related, "who I took great pleasure in killing off [in fiction]. First in the book, and then it was very nice to see it happen in the series. Then Nicole took it from there."

And "Nicole took it from there" is right. Kidman said the role "penetrated [her] psyche", taking a major toll that was both emotional and physical (in scenes of the abuse, Kidman was often in extremely vulnerable physical positions). "It affected me more than anything I've ever done," Kidman said.

Over 10 million people in the United States are affected by intimate partner violence annually, according to the CDC, making this a topic that resonates deeply with literally millions of Americans. The award-winning actress used her time at the mic to make a statement about the very real problem at the heart of this role.

"Sometimes when you're acting, you get a chance to bring a bigger message — we shine a light on domestic abuse," she said in her acceptance speech. "It is a complicated, insidious disease that exists far more than we allow ourselves to know. It is filled with shame, secrecy and by you acknowledging me with this award, it shines a light on it even more. So thank you, thank you, thank you," she concluded.

One of Big Little Lies' greatest achievements is that it presents domestic abuse in an utterly stark, terrifying light (no one could accuse the show of sugar-coating Celeste and Perry's relationship), but also communicates that secrecy and shame that makes it so difficult for survivors to extract themselves from abusive relationships.

Celeste's hesitancy to leave her husband (or even mention the abuse to close friends), her continual rationalization of Perry's violent behavior and her community's belief that her marriage is "perfect" all add up to a bracingly real depiction of what is so "complicated" and "insidious" about these relationships (to borrow Kidman's words).

Thankfully, depictions in pop culture (like this one) open up conversations among friends and community members that otherwise might go unsaid. Furthermore, they directly contradict the existing stereotypes of what an abuse victim looks like. Celeste, with her wealth, her "perfect" family, and her always-polished appearance, doesn't "fit the mold" of what we may expect of someone suffering in an abusive relationship. But as the Department of Justice's Office on Violence Against Women points out, domestic violence doesn't have a "type": "Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. Domestic violence occurs in both opposite-sex and same-sex relationships and can happen to intimate partners who are married, living together, or dating."

By redefining our preconceived notions of an abuse victim and presenting such an unflinching portrait of intimate partner abuse, Big Little Lies has contributed more than just entertainment. It has also opened up the conversation around abuse and — with any luck — made it more possible for survivors to get help.

If you or a loved one are struggling with domestic abuse, please know that help is available to you. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). If you feel you are in immediate danger, do not hesitate to call 911.

Photo Credit: HBO

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