If the term "dirty talk" makes your heart race and hands clammy (and not in a good way), you're not alone. When it comes to talking dirty in the bedroom, anxiety is more common than you think — after all, it probably sounded so much sexier in your head or when you saw it in Fifty Shades, right?
The good news is that if you're looking to spice up your sex life, you can take baby steps toward talking dirty; there's no need to come off as an experienced pro right at the beginning. Not only could it be offsetting for your partner, who's used to sex with you a certain way, it could also be a little intimidating.
Even the slightest changes in your vocabulary can turn both you and your partner on, encouraging a hot new dynamic in the bedroom. Without further ado, here are five easy steps to talking dirty.
The talk before the talk
Just like any other sexual foray, it's best to talk to your partner before trying something new in between the sheets. Establish what you're both comfortable with, and where to draw the line.
You don't have to get into awkward specifics right away, but start the conversation by figuring out you and your partner's comfort level with dirty talk, then try specific things out in the heat of the moment. Afterward, make sure to communicate which parts you enjoyed and which parts didn't feel right.
Don't overthink it
Forget about the monologues or über provocative lines you hear at the movies or in adult films; for starters, keeping it simple is the way to go.
Don't be afraid to say whatever first comes to your mind — chances are your partner will be turned on by you being so direct, and that's what it's all about, isn't it?
Start with something simple, like complimenting your partner's body or lingerie. Keep the ball rolling by speaking out when your partner does something you enjoy, or tell him/her what you'd enjoy more of. Be as specific as you want!
Fantasize with your partner
Figuring out your partner's fantasy could open up countless doors to a more exciting sex life. Not only will you be able to do exactly what he or she wants, but you'll also create a stronger sense of intimacy and security in your relationship.
Instead of assuming what your partner likes, make sure to communicate so you know exactly what's going on in his or her head. Talking specifics when it comes to fantasies is a super hot and easy way to ease into dirty talk without feeling awkward.
Expand your vocabulary
If committing a few core terms to memory will help take your sex life to the next level, it's worth it. Again, simple words and phrases will do the trick just fine, so don't put too much pressure on yourself or your partner.
Phrases like "Do you like that, baby?" or "Does that make you feel good?" can illicit a wide range of answers from your partner. See how he or she reacts and go from there. Once you're both feeling loose-lipped and ready to go, ask "What do you want me to do to you?". Better yet, list specifics of what you want to do/have done to you.
Use positive reinforcements
Constructive criticism takes a backseat to positive reinforcements in the bedroom. Make sure to make your partner feel secure and confident, especially when trying something new. Give compliments, show signs of enthusiasm and be more vocal during sex — once you get the ball rolling, your partner will be sure to open up as well.
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