It's time to stop turning out the light, rolling over and waiting around for your partner to initiate intimacy in your relationship. Whether it's been three months or thirty years since you said "I do," a time comes when every relationship needs a little shaking up in the bedroom. Use these tips to have better sex tonight and leave him longing for your next night of love.
1. Slip into a sexy little number. Ditch the baggy T-shirt for the night and slip into bed wearing a sexy lace and silk nightie. He’ll love seeing your body’s silhouette and feeling the smooth fabric so much that he won’t be able to keep his hands to himself. To heighten his attraction to you, wear red or orange; these colors show him that you’re ready to be flirty, fun and in charge of the after-hours activities ahead.
2. Let food put you in the mood. As if you needed another reason to snack on delicious dark chocolate, it may help you prepare for a night of love. Dark chocolate helps reduce stress, fight fatigue and improve brain function and blood flow. When it’s time to do the deed, bring it with you to bed! Drizzle melted chocolate over your partner’s skin and lick it off or place truffle pieces on sensitive spots and gently bite them.
>> Read more: Supercharge Your Sex Drive With These 5 Foods
3. Update your undies! Hipsters or yoga panties are great for grocery runs, but you’ll want to show a little more skin in the bedroom. Splurge on a new pair of lace underwear to match your favorite bra and send a teaser photo to him letting him know what you’re up to or sharing a sneak peek of your new lingerie. Seeing you in your new itty bitty bikini will be the only thing on his mind that evening.
>> Check out these sexy underwear for every shape and size here.
4. Turn the bedroom into a boudoir. Clear out the sippy cups and laundry bins; those just remind you of work and chores to be done. Your bedroom should be your space of luxury with cozy, chic sheets and clean, simple decor. Let your man choose scented candles he likes, dim the lights and play soft music to set the mood. And ditch the TV; studies show this decreases your sex life by 40 percent.
5. Put it on your “to-do” list. Penciling in time for sex isn’t a sign that your marriage is headed south, it just means you’re busy people who need some time to prepare! Adding “You + Me @ 10:00 ;)” to his calendar on Thursday night might be enough to get him in the mood. And if you’d like to make scheduled sexy time a little less awkward, check out these ways to initiate the deed that don’t take out all the fun.
6. Hit the gym. Suggest an evening run or walk or invite your hubby on a gym date. This can improve your health (obviously) and your connection to one another. But consider it an added bonus that working out releases stimulating endorphins which can boost your sex drive by making you feel happier and more confident in your body. He’ll love to see you work up a sweat, too.
7. Give or get a sensual rubdown. After putting the kids to sleep, put some essential oils near your nightstand and offer a back rub to your man. Giving a massage will help him relax and it will help the pair of you communicate and connect without speaking a word. Click here to master the art of sensual massages and learn how to turn one innocent touch into a session of intimacy. It'll show him how you like to be touched, too!
8. Send a sexy text. "Oops, did I mean to send that?" Letting your honey know he's on your mind is sweet, but letting him know what you've planned for later can really turn up the heat. Type a sexy message like "Let's have some fun later ;)" a sweet "I love sleeping next to you every night," or a playful "Guess the color of my panties to win a treat," to let him know you're interested in some late-night fun.
9. Add a “box of tricks.” Bringing in reinforcements sounds intimidating, but it can actually be fun and flirty way to experience new sensations with your partner. There are bedroom games or toys available for every level of comfort and experience, so pick up some sexy dice, adult cards and games, cuffs, or an adult toy to spice things up. Only go as far as you feel comfortable; your partner will appreciate anything you're willing to try!
10. Have a glass of the good stuff with him. Pour yourselves a glass of red wine to relax your bodies and make you feel more open. After a glass or two, you'll reach your peak pleasure point. Sipping wine will increase your sexual desire and increase blood flow in your erogenous areas; it'll increase his blood flow and testosterone levels. It seems that cabernet may be the secret love potion you've been searching for.
>> Read more: Is Red Wine Actually Healthy?
11. Share the tub. After a long week, draw a warm bath and invite your partner to join the fun. To accompany your romantic soak, drop in this bath bomb by Lush Cosmetics (appropriately named Sex Bomb), packed with powerful aphrodisiacs like jasmine, sage and ylang ylang that warm your body. It turns your water into a rose tint and a flower blooms as the bomb dissolves. It's a foolproof precursor to a night of love.
12. Buy a new pillow, not just for looks. Using a full pillow to place under back or booty during the deed can open you up to a whole new sexual experience. It changes the angle of your body to allow for different sensations you'll love, and he'll love watching the magic happen.
13. Give him chills. To serve up some love on the rocks, bring a few ice cubes into bed. Hold a single cube and trace sensitive parts of his body, or if you’re feeling frisky, put it in your mouth during foreplay until it has melted. The cool sensation can heighten his pleasure, wake him up and have his mind on nothing but here and now. Bring a couple extra ice chips so he can return the favor.
14. Relive the honeymoon phase. Roleplaying Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele isn’t for everyone, but there’s no need to pretend to be anyone other than your sexy selves! You and your hubby have done some pretty daring deeds over the years, so talk about your favorite intimate moments together and recreate them for a night of passion down memory lane. Good luck getting through them all in one session!
>> Read more: No Sex Drive? Could Something Really Be Wrong With You?