The Hills alum Whitney Port loves her baby, but misses her late father.
Port broke down while sharing the emotional struggle of raising her newborn son without having her father around in a new episode of her “I Love My Baby But…” series.
“It has been a traumatic and grief-filled world for me for so many reasons,” Post captioned the YouTube video. “Simply put, he was my dad. He was the main man in my life for almost all of my life and really ruled at it. I miss him every single day.”
The former reality TV cast member shed tears while opening up about the intense grief she feels over the loss of her father, even five years after his death. Port’s father Jeffery died from kidney cancer in March 2013.
Since giving birth to her son Sonny Sanford in July with husband Tim Rosenman, she said the pain of loss has hit her even harder.
“More recently, really since Sonny was born, I find myself missing him more and more. It’s unfortunate how such amazing times in one’s life, like getting married or having a baby, can be colored with such darkness,” she said as she fed her 3-month-old.
“We are so happy but then quickly feel the loss of their presence and it’s really hard to come to terms with,” Port added.
Throughout her pregnancy and since giving birth, Port has shed an honest light on her experience by sharing her struggles with followers.
In another “I Love My Baby, But…” chapter, she revealed that breastfeeding was difficult as a new mom.
In the hospital, she said everything was fine and that nurses confirmed Sonny was latching well. Then, the new mom began experiencing the downside of feeding.
“After about 24 to 48 hours of doing it, it just started to get so incredibly painful," she said. "And we came home and I just hit a breaking point and said, ‘I can’t do this. It feels as though someone is slicing my nipples with glass.’ ”
Port says she’ll continue to share candid experiences of her journey through motherhood, allowing herself an outlet and giving others the support they may need.